I don't fit

I don't fit in at Weight Watcher's. Last time I went to the local meeting, I realized I have a completely different focus from everyone else in the group. (At least, from everyone there who spoke up.) I really want to get fit while eating moderately. As far as I can tell, the focus for the rest of the gang is to diet, i.e. just get rid of these pounds as quickly as possible. Don't worry about exercising, don't worry about eating healthy food, just lose the weight NOW.

Covert Bailey makes a good point. "If someone told you the store was offering a sale of 10 pounds for 10 dollars, your first reaction would be '10 pounds of what?'" Likewise, I don't see why the emphasis is on getting rid of pounds regardless of how you do it. If you're not going to exercise while losing weight, then you're losing muscle as well as fat. If the emphasis were on losing a percentage of body fat, then I would be all in favor of this idea.

The local group has a lot of people who lose a lot of weight at the start. We're talking at least 5 pounds a week, every week. That is really not a radical amount for someone who's quite large. What bothers me is that the meetings start to feel like something out of The Biggest Loser competition:

A woman stands up and says "I lost 5 pounds this week!" Applause from the group.
Another woman stands up to say "And I lost 7 pounds this week!" More applause.
A third woman gets to her feet to proclaim "I lost 10 pounds this week!" Wild applause from the audience.
Then a smaller woman gets up and mumbles that she lost two pounds that week. The group claps perfunctorily a couple times.

It bugs me that -- probably unintentionally -- they end up comparing and judging people by the amount of weight lost. With people of different shapes, different physical conditions, and different starting places, how can you compare their progress at all? I always feel that getting fit or losing weight is a competition against yourself and no one else. But at these meetings, it feels like I'm competing against other people, or rather it feels as if they're competing against me. That makes no sense. It's not as if there were only one prize going to be handed out at the end -- we can all win.

Also, I have noticed a pattern. The women who come in and lose lots of weight right away seem to be doing so by stringent dieting, not by eating unprocessed foods and exercising. (I'm basing that on what the women themselves have been saying in the meetings.) The pattern seems to be that these women lose a lot of weight at the start. Then they stop mentioning how much weight they've lost. Then they stop showing up at the meetings. They don't come back.

One woman mentioned that she made it a goal to try to exercise for 15 minutes a day. "I don't actually do it," she said with a laugh. "But I do try. Sometimes." I don't know if the words on the page quite convey the tone in which this was said. I came away with the strong impression that no, she didn't really try. Or care. It was something she was 'supposed' to do, but there was no commitment to actually try.

Compared to this woman, I must come across as an exercise fanatic. On the other hand, I'm not fit enough to keep up with people who actually are in good shape. I don't 'fit' there either. I jog along at my slow pace, nodding at the people who pass me. If I were in better shape, being passed would be annoying. As it is, that's part of life and I accept it without a qualm. I just wish there were someone going my pace.

Okay, whine done.

Goal of the month: 30 days of throwing stuff back. Or out. I don't need all these possessions.
I especially don't need to save the diary from when I was 17. You cannot imagine the exquisite embarrassment that comes from reading such a document. And you never will, 'cause that sucker is now in a million tiny pieces. It's served its time. (Why does that sound like a prison sentence?) It was good to let it go.

Goal of the week: Out the door by 7:30. In the a.m., not the p.m. It can be done.
Yeah, maybe it can be done, though I'm starting to have serious doubts that it can be done by me. Luckily, I have friends (hey, don't look so surprised when I write that) who have kindly volunteered to nag me to go to bed at a reasonable hour. Which I'm going to do. No, really. I don't want them mad. You wouldn't like them when they're mad.
Exercise du jour: 200 squat challenge, week 3
13
16
11
11
16
Done!

Weight Watchers -- no point?

Irritation du jour: Weight Watchers -- now pointless?

I'm glad that they're trying to keep up to date, but it seems strange that a system that was working (more or less) before is now "wrong." Or, according to this article "the previous style of calorie-counting had been proven to be inaccurate and ‘outdated'."

If the old system had been completely inaccurate, surely someone would have noticed before now? If they said the new system was more accurate, that wouldn't bother me so much.

Selfish moment du jour: Okay, yes, I'm glad the Chilean miners all made it up to the surface safely. Nevertheless, this story irks me: Chilean Miner trained to run marathon.

Yes, I'm all for showing bravery in the face of adversity, but sheesh! I mean, here he is, trapped underground for months , forced to eat short rations and not knowing if he'd ever see daylight again, and the man trains for a friggin' marathon? Doesn't this man realize how selfish he is? How he's making all the rest of us look bad! What excuses do any of us have left?! Really, some people.

Goal for the month: Still going strong on the 30-day purge. Every day, I devote time to sorting, organizing, shredding, filing, or donating all the stuff I have been hoarding for all these years. It's okay to let it go!





Goal for the week: Nose to pillow by 9 p.m. Sounds so simple when I put it up on the blog. In reality, it means being disciplined, organized, all those things that do not come naturally to my scatter-brained soul.

Exercise du jour: 200 squats week 2:
6
8
5
5
8
Done!

Status check: month 3 of Weight Watchers

Weight lost
This week: -4.2
Yeah, but last week I was "officially" up 3 pounds, thanks to Mardi Gras. (I think I actually gained/lost about 6 pounds last week.)
So far: -14.4 (Would 6 more ounces be so much to ask? Pleeeeease?)
Average weight loss per week: 1 pound

Total inches lost
Arms: - .5 inch
Bust: -.25 inch
Waist: -4.5 inches
Hips: -3 inches
Thighs: -.5 inch

Yes, I'm disappointed at how slowly I'm losing weight.
I can understand that it might not seem like a slow loss to someone who doesn't go to the meetings I go to. I see people there losing 5 pounds a week. Each friggin' week. It's not a bad group of people, I'm not saying that, but I'm a little miffed.

What bothers me most, I think, is that I am exercising three times as much as anyone else there, and losing far less. (Mind you, I have calf muscles that would do a calf proud. Wish I'd thought to measure them from the start.)

The other night, one woman spoke about how she struggles to exercise for 15 minutes a day. Since December, I have averaged 50 minutes a day of exercise. (I've been tracking my exercise since then. The actual average is 51 minutes/day.) Is she losing more weight than I am? Of course she is. Silly question. ("Hello, my old and familiar dilemma. Stop exercising and lose muscle as well as fat? Why yes, you are a tempting idea sometimes.")

Last week I couldn't make the meeting and had to go to another location instead. I was amazed at the people there who said it had taken them several months to lose 15 pounds. Why aren't these kinds of people going to my meeting? (Maybe they are and just don't say much.)

I want to keep going to this meeting because it's within walking distance of my house, I like the woman who leads the meeting, and the group is basically quite nice. The other meeting would require driving my car, and has the very grave drawback of being right next door to Powell's bookstore. So we're talking serious bucks spent each week. (What's that? Who said oh, just don't go to Powell's after the meeting? You don't know me very well, do you? I can skimp on cake,* I can skimp on doughnuts.* Don't ask me to skimp on books.)

*Except during Mardi Gras. But that's once a year. I haven't been binging on a regular basis. Honest.**

**Oh all right. I binged 3 times. Once over Christmas, once because I had a hissy fit after not making it to 10 pounds, and once at Mardi Gras. There. That's honest.



Exercise du jour: Cycle 5 miles
Semi-FAIL. I honestly did try. Even though I ended up working a 12-hour day, I ended up walking a whole mile. Oh boy.

You can never tell ahead of time

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You can never tell if a run is going to turn out okay after all.

Well, maybe if you've just broken both legs you can tell. Otherwise, no.

Even if you (I mean me, but it's easier to tell this to someone else) really don't feel like doing the workout, you can end up having a good time.

So far, I'm making it through the last week of the C25k, running 30 minutes at a time. The shins seem to be accepting this level of exercise without too many complaints.

I'm doing pretty pathetic on the cycling, partly because it involves a lot more organization beforehand, i.e. I have to lay out cycling clothes, pack clothes for work, and -- this is the clincher -- haul myself out of bed early enough so I can ride in. Have to confess, sometimes I take the Max in and then cycle back. Better than nothing.

Surprisingly, my horrible week of eating only earned me half a pound more on the scale (+.6). I'm really surprised that it wasn't worse than that. Then this morning, I lost 2-1/2 pounds. It's been a couple years since I was last down at this weight.

Plus, at the meeting last night, I met a couple of girls who are just starting the C25k so they could run the Shamrock 5k. I told them if they signed up for the Shamrock 5k, I would too. (Um... I suppose that means I have to do it. I was thinking of maybe not going for it -- there's going to be a lot of people -- but I suppose that means there might be 2 or even 3 people slower than I am!)

Site du jour: This week Middle-aged dating is posting re-runs of her most memorable dates from the last year or so.

Exercise du jour: Walking to work from the Max station plus the all-important hour's walk at lunch. I'm getting rained on a lot this week. God bless Oregon.
Done! Walked 5 miles, split between morning, noon, and night.

Honestly, it's enough to make anyone join the Fat Acceptance movement

Quote du jour: The fat person doesn't have many pleasures. He can't bowl; he can't dance; he can't do anything because he can barely support his own body even just walking -- so he eats. - Jean Nidetch

In case you were wondering, Jean Nidetch was the founder of Weight Watchers.

In fairness to her, that was written over 40 years ago and people (and their attitudes) have changed. My mother cleaned out her pantry and gave me her copy of the original Weight Watchers cookbook. From 1966. The other quote on the back cover talks about how J. Nidetch used to be a compulsive eater and is now a compulsive size 12. I know sizes have changed, but even if that translates nowadays as being a compulsive size 10, I can't imagine anyone bragging about it. Maybe a compulsive size 4.

Not all changes are for the good.

Site du jour: 7 Common survival tactics that will get you killed. Close your eyes and think of California ;)

Exercise du jour: Week 9, day 2 of the c25k. 30 minutes running. Also, I want to -- no, that's not strong enough. I will walk at lunch for an hour. (Really, I will. I got the manual in by the deadline, so I can take a whole hour off at lunch.)
Done! Walked three miles, then jogged for 30 minutes after work. Okay, I did cheat. After 8 minutes, I walked for a whole minute to rest my cramping calf muscles. Then I only added on another 30 seconds at the end of the run. For some reason, this time was a lot harder.

Ahead of the curve, for once

I got the messy hair already! Score!

A lot of new people have been coming to the Weight Watchers meetings these past two weeks. Be interesting to see if they're still coming after a couple months.

I'm glad I started going to Weight Watchers when I did. Starting at the New Year makes starting a change seem that much more Significant. I kind of slipped in, surreptitious-like, and eased into the program without any great expectations of grand and dramatic weight loss. Which is just as well, because I've been taking the incrementally slow & steady route instead.

Although, if they all start losing 20 pounds in a week, I might have to spike their diet sodas with sugar.


Exercise du jour: Week 8 Day 3 of the C25k. 28 minutes jogging.
Done! Went slowly again, to avoid leg pain. You know what? I was impatient with going so slowly. I actually wanted to go at a faster pace. Yes, me. You read that right. Very strange.

Status check: month 2 of Weight Watchers

Are you really curious about this? Okay then, here are the stats after two months on Weight Watchers.

Weight lost
This week: -.8
So far: -9.6 (9 point friggin 6. All it would've taken would be 4 ounces more for me to be just a leeeetle bit happy.)
Average weight loss per week: 1.2 pounds

I am not pleased. Another woman, who joined the week before me, has lost 20 pounds by this weigh-in. (Yes, okay, she does weigh more and work out less. I don't care. I am Not At Home to Ms. Reasonable right now. Everybody is losing weight but me. I'm pissed.)

Total inches lost
Arms: -1/2 inch
Bust: -1 inch
Waist: -4 inches
Hips: -3 inches

What, you think I should cheer up because I'm fitting into smaller pant sizes? Was that Ms. Reasonable I just heard knocking on my door? Sorry, not answering the door. I sat through that WW meeting absolutely starving. I couldn't stand that everyone was talking about food, food, food!

Look, I know it's silly, I know I'm paying too much attention to numbers. I'm still bummed.

Exercise du jour: Cycling to work and back. For that matter, walking at lunch. I'm not working out hard enough, damn it.

Update du later on: Sorry. I wrote most of that last night right after I got home from the meeting. I was tired and ab-so-lute-ly starving, and that tends to make me wear the cranky pants.

I kept it up there because it was honest. Yes, I do want to lose weight as much as the next person, even if the next person is also losing water and muscle as well as fat. I want the weight to come off quickly and stay off forever. I also want a pony, with a pink glittery bridle.

I'll settle for a healthy body that's progressively moving downward on the scale, albeit at the speed of a slug on prozac.

Vacuuming the dog, and other brilliant ideas

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It's true. I spend so much time cleaning up all the fur that she sheds (and she sheds mass quantities every day) that I finally cut out the middle part and started vacuuming the dog directly. She wasn't thrilled with the idea (I got the "sad" look) but she didn't try to run away.

No, don't call PETA. Her ladyship is a dog with chronic allergies, who spends most of her waking hours scratching her fur off. Since it's winter right now, she spends the rest of the time shivering and growing the fur back. It's a never ending cycle.

What does any of that have to do with exercise and fitness and cute quotes? Absolutely zilch. I was just using this space to vent.

Site du jour: Bug me not. Sometimes you really want to check out an interesting site, but you don't want to hassle with registering and logging in. Bug me not has shared logins for popular free sites that require login.

Another Weight Watchers meeting tonight -- my 8th week. I will show signs of progress. Or else, damn it.

Exercise du jour: Week 8 Day 2 of the C25k: 28 minutes jogging.
It's funny -- the first two minutes, I ALWAYS think that I'm going to have to give up, I'll never make it. Then, if I keep going past five minutes, the body seems to get the hang of the idea, and I can go on. I took it slow, to avoid tendon problems. So long as I go at an "I'm not proud" speed, no probs. And next week, maybe, I'll up the pace. Plus walking.

Don't Judge. Just write it down.

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A woman in the Weight Watchers meeting said something that amazed me. Sometimes she'll go to the nearest Taco Bell drive-through and get a huge burrito -- and then not include it in her food tracking. "Why write it down?" she said with a laugh. "It will just be taking all the points that I have for the day."

What boggles the mind is that this woman has been coming to these meetings for months, much longer than I have. She never misses a week. Why? Is this just a social exercise for her? Because I don't see how she can be serious about losing weight or getting fit.

Maybe this is just a game to her, something half-hearted. "I know I should lose weight, so I'll go through the motions -- more or less -- but I don't really want to change."

I've been writing down everything I eat -- even when I go over the allotted number of points -- and when I eat. And why. I thought that was the point of Weight Watchers, tracking the food and exercise. I'm sure that everyone will miss tracking food once in awhile, but I don't understand the reasoning behind not tracking because it's discouraging. That's a challenge you need to face before you can get in shape.

What I've been working on is writing it down without judging. (It's hard not to say negative things about eating food I don't need.) I'm not doing this because I want to beat myself up; the idea is to collect information that I can analyze for patterns. See what I'm doing right, what I'm doing wrong, what I can do about the wrong.

Note: I don't use the flex points a lot, but I have been known to go over my specified number of points sometimes. (Especially during the Christmas and New Year's festivities.) It happens. I write it down.

Seems simple enough, but I'm not sure I should tell other people what I'm doing. (You don't count as other people, by the way. Amazingly non-judgmental group here.) I told another woman at Weight Watchers (not the Taco Bell lady) that sometimes I go over the specified number of points, and she raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Oh, I never use my flex points." Have to say that her tone felt a bit critical. And she's a Lifetime member who's lost 45 pounds, and only returned because she has gained back a few pounds, so I suppose she has the right to think she knows what she's doing. It works for her.

I had to remind myself that just because it works for her, I don't have to feel bad. I suspect my path lies somewhere between Ms. Lifetime and Ms. Taco Bell.


Exercise du jour: Cycling to work and back. Still getting some complaints from the tendons around the lower leg/ankle area, and it's time to get back into cycling anyway. In another month... okay, two... it'll be light enough that I'll be able to do some distance cycling before or after work. Need to get prepared. Plus, I got a new light so I can see and Be Seen while commuting.
Done. Sorta. I mean, I did cycle to and from work, but I cheated and took the Max part way. Yeah, I know. Need to get up earlier next time and be more organized.

Also, an hour's worth of yoga.

Week 5, Day 2 of the C25k

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Quote du jour: Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself. --William Faulkner

Exercise du jour: C25k Week 5 day 2

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

• Jog 3/4 mile (or 8 minutes)
• Walk 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
• Jog 3/4 mile (or 8 minutes)

Semi-fail. Still wobbly from the food poisoning, so did yoga instead of running. On the other hand, Weight Watchers told me that I lost 3-1/2 pounds this week, so I can't call this a total fail.
Except that Weight Watchers e-Tools just told me that now I have one less point to spend. Damn. I'm feeling hungry for the first time in three days -- this is not the moment to tell me that!

Status check: 1 month on Weight Watchers

Self portrait? Why certainly!
Of course it is!
Would I lie?
To you?
Oh, come now...*

Okay, so I've been doing Weight Watchers for a month now. Lost just under 5 pounds, which is much lower than should be the case -- usually when you start writing down everything you eat, you lose a lot of weight early on. If I were typical, I would've lost closer to 2 pounds a week this month. But then again, the people who do best on Weight Watchers always have the blurb "results not typical" next to their pictures.

[If you're keeping track, which I seriously doubt, I have also lost 2 inches off my waist, and 1 off my hips. My pants fit a lot better, and I feel better. But the scale reflecteth this not.]

What I have not been doing is restricting my caloric intake at all. I've merely been recording it. I wanted to get an idea of how I eat normally before I tried to change anything. One thing about the WW e-tools, it is fairly easy to look back and see the patterns in your regular eating habits.

What I'm doing wrong:

- Eating too much in the evening
Cure: eat something hefty at about 4 pm, so I'm not starving by the time I get home. Go British and have a tea time meal. Jolly good idea.

- Not planning ahead for things like parties
Solution: at the start of the week, review the social calendar. Also prepare food for the week, like baked salmon or something filling & tasty of that ilk.

What I'm doing right:

- Bringing food from home. I love my little Mr. Bento Japanese food-in-a-nifty-thermos lunch jar. The thing is so darned cute! The lower two compartments keep the food warm, and the upper two are good for vegetables and fruit. I originally balked at the price, but it paid for itself very quickly. I love it so much, it doesn't occur to me to go out for lunch. (If I go out during lunchtime, it's to walk, not to eat.)

- Planning the day's meal ahead of time. Packing Mr. Bento is a way of looking ahead for that particular day, which helps me keep on the straight and narrow. I don't always put the best protein into the containers -- there was That Episode with the Pizza, and a Fried Chicken Incident, but let's not talk about that here, this is the section for what I did right. At least I brought them from home. With vegetables and fruit.

- Exercising. That, I give myself credit for. The inner slug has not been ruling the roost. That one time when I skipped exercising for two days in a row? I found myself getting very nervous, almost antsy, at the thought. The slug is down, but not out. I don't want to give him any reason to try to make a comeback.

1-1/4 hours of yoga


*Yeah, I didn't think you'd buy that story. Photo is actually courtesy of flickr:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/helga/ / CC BY-ND 2.0

One good thing about WW e-tools

Even if you're having a terrible week re food/exercise, at the end of the week all the nasty numbers on the e-tools counter are wiped out and you start afresh. With no guilt.

We'll see what the numbers on the scale say tonight. Am I making progress? Are all my activity points making up for the T-day feast? According to the numbers on the WW e-tools, yes.... We'll see what the scale thinks.

I know I'm being petty, but it really annoys me that my scale always shows me weighing a pound or so less than the official WW scale. I realize I get officially weighed at the end of the day, so there's more weight from the water I drank all day, and I also realize it would probably cause a stampede if I stripped off all my clothes before stepping on the official scale, but even so... it's annoying.

I'm not alone in this -- in the meeting last week, another women mentioned that she used to not drink any water on weigh-in day. We're all suffering from The Biggest Loser issues. Bah! Me, I'm gonna drink, and I don't mean martinis.

Exercise du jour: Couch to 5k Week 3 Day 2 Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then do two repetitions of the following:

* Jog 200 yards (or 90 seconds)
* Walk 200 yards (or 90 seconds)
* Jog 400 yards (or 3 minutes)
* Walk 400 yards (or three minutes)

fail. That's two fails in a row. This is not good.

The Grinch diet

Okay, body, what is up?

Hunger is when your stomach grabs you by the throat and say “Feed me now, damn it!”

Yesterday, I spent the whole day suffering from hunger. And I ate. Oh, how I ate.


8:30 am: chicken and crackers. (No, not especially nutritious, but I’m not usually hungry that early in the morning. Didn’t want to take time to prepare something good and filling.)

11:00 am: Weight Watchers lunch (6 points)

11:10 am: Hungry

11:30 am: 1 apple

11:40 am: Hungry again

12:00 2 cups bell peppers

12:20 Hungry, and the stomach’s getting kinda pissed off at me

12:25 pm: Another Weight Watchers lunch (3 points)

12:30: 1 cup raw carrots

1:00 pm: Started drinking cup after cup of warm tea, trying to create a feeling of fullness

1:30 pm: Hungry. More tea.

2:00 pm: Hungry. Still more tea. Running to the bathroom every friggin’ 20 minutes, but not full.

2:30 pm: Instant oatmeal. Surely that will shut the stomach up.

3:00 pm: Nope. Hungry

3:30 pm: Screw the warm tea. Started drinking liters of straight water. Something, anything to stop feeling so damn hungry!

4:00 pm: Starting to slosh around when I move. Still hungry.

4:45 pm: Stomach cries piteously for sustenance.

5:20 pm: Starting to wonder if computer keyboards are edible. Wouldn’t they count as fiber? Isn’t that filling?

6:15 pm: Had to restrain myself from driving extra-fast home to get to the refrigerator. Suppose I should give myself a pat on the back for not stopping at a fast food place on the way.

6:23 pm: 4 oz. chicken, more crackers. One whole entire chocolate eclair.

7:15 pm: Still somewhat hungry, but the desperate frantic hunger has eased off finally.

8:45 pm: The hunger came back. This is absurd.

9:45 pm: And it's not going away. I'm still hungry.

No, I don't usually detail every single morsel that passes my lips in a day. I’m documenting this here because I want to try and figure out what’s going on with my body. Did my metabolism suddenly kick start itself into action?

I don’t know if it’s a thyroid-related issue or what, but normally if I try to fast, ignoring the initial morning hunger pangs, the stomach shuts up and I can get by quite easily on less than 1,000 calories a day. (However, “get by” means I sit around the house and not do any exercise more strenuous than turning a page or flipping a channel. When I severely restrict the calories, I have no energy, no impulse to do anything other than veg.)

There was no way ignoring this would make it go away. The only time I've felt this hungry is when I’ve been exercising a lot. I mean vigorous exercise, that leaves me red faced, sweaty, and tired. That's not what I’ve been putting my body through lately. No, walking with the occasional jog thrown in is not vigorous exercise. Really. So it puzzles me.

Exercise du jour: 30 minutes yoga (morning only), two hours 80 minutes walking.
Done!





Note: 3rd Weight Watchers meeting tonight. We'll see how badly I'll have to pay for the extra serving of that superbly delicious stuffing. And the apple/chocolate/pumpkin pie episodes. This could be grim.

Could that be why I've been so damn hungry? Was it because I ate so much on Friday? Did my stomach suddenly expand, like the Grinch's heart, to several sizes larger? I do not recall starving over the weekend, but apart the T-day feast I did not go overboard on the eating.

Post-meeting update: Lost 1-1/2 pounds, which considering how much I ate on Friday is amazing. But I didn't argue with the WW woman. Just grabbed my booklet and ran. Happily.

The incident of the cupcakes in the night time

What can I say. They were there. (Which is in itself odd, since I do NOT buy cupcakes or twinkies or whatever. Must have been leftover from a PMS-craving shopping session.)

Whatever. They were there, I ate them. No guilt.

I don't like the way tracking my food has made me more aware of food. I refuse to feel any guilt for the silly/decadent/spineless behavior. What the hell. Done now. Moving on.

Or maybe I don't like tracking my food because it's making me more aware of my habits? Whatever.

What I can't figure out is why simply joining Weight Watchers would have caused me to lose over two pounds this week. It's not as if I did anything I haven't been doing all along. The only thing I did different this week was write it down. Not that I'm complaining about losing these pounds. Merely puzzled.

Physical evidence of the change -- on a whim, I tried on Those Pants, the ones that I didn't fit into and certainly couldn't walk around in a couple months ago. They fit. I can walk, talk, and sit while wearing them.

Maybe I should've tried them on in the interim. I figured that since the scale was telling me such depressing numbers, I wouldn't even bother testing the pants.

Bloody hell, maybe I really did gain muscle somewhere along the line? I'm going to do measurements, see what the inch report is now.

The meeting tonight:
Um, nice, but puzzling. I didn't want to ask too many dumb questions, but I wondered. Why did she hand me a bookmark? Am I supposed to use it for some virtuous purpose? I got a little star-shaped sticker marked 'bravo' -- was that for losing the two pounds? I'm confused!

Still, excellent meeting, and I say that even though I loathe all meetings on principle. The talk was about people who use food to show love, and how you can try to make them feel loved without getting stuffed to the gills with food that you'd rather not eat. Since my mother feels that if I don't eat her food, I must not love her (if I don't eat her food, she's a bad mother?), this hit home.

Exercise du jour:
Couch to 5k week 1 day 1 Brisk five-minute warm up walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

Jogged back from the Weight Watchers meeting. How smugly virtuous can you get?


Cupcake imagery courtesy of

http://www.flickr.com/photos/santos/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Feast or... well, let's think of it as the other feast, okay?

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Okay, so it's back to the vegetables. I lost ten pounds by eating a 90% vegetable diet. I got so I liked eating vegetables and good stuff. Then my innards got so crantankerous that I went back to eating a diet of mostly saturated fat. Last week, the doctor said "IBS" and gave me lots of pills that are supposed to let me eat all the veggies I want.

Except now I'm out of the habit and don't want to eat good no more.

Operation brainwash commences. Carrot crunching shall now ensue. Note: if I seem a wee bit cranky this next week, it's ain't PMS. (Yes, I am also being a good girl and eating all my Weight Watcher points. I'm not trying to deny myself fattening food. I am trying to train my taste buds to like vegetables again. It worked before.)

Exercise du jour: Walk five miles today.

A mighty idea

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No exercise posted today, except for incidental walking. What I'm going to do instead is force my antisocial loner self through the doors of a place that's holding a Weight Watchers meeting. Apparently you can show up to a meeting free, to test the waters. If it turns out that they don't actually indulge in ritual human sacrifice or other arcane and unpleasant activities, I might want to start going on a regular basis.

That's a pretty big might for one antisocial loner of a woman. I figure if I post it here, I'll be obliged to go. Otherwise, I would be sure to talk myself out of it. We'll see how it goes.

Actually, I should be giving this star to you. If it hadn't been for the comments, and the knowledge that people out there were expecting me to follow through on what I'd posted, I would never have gone to that meeting tonight. Which I survived.
As it happens, the leader did not have horns on her head and a forked tail -- but I understand those can be surgically removed. And the people attending were friendly without being pushy, but that could merely be a wile designed to lure me in. We'll see.
All I know is that this works for some people, and I need a kick from someone, so I'll try it for a month and see if I survive the ordeal more or less intact. Hopefully less.