Tuesday, December 16, 2008

No longer lost in a good book

It's strange, but I'm becoming more aware, and more dissatisfied, with my physical shape.

For years, I've suffered from a common disorder called Corpus Oblivious. I didn't really think about my weight problem; there were more interesting things to think about. Rather than work out, I'd read. I was a talking head that used the body like a cheap apartment rather than a home. Didn't really matter.

But the more I work out, the more it feels like I'm being pulled back into an awareness of my physical shape, and the more I see, the less I like the way it looks. Before, I would eat sweet food when I was feeling down -- who cared if it added on a pound or two? Now, I'm starting to feel impatient with my slow progress. I want to cut out all sweet foods, anything that's not an unadulterated vegetable or plain fruit. Enough already. There are more important things out there.

Week 8 of the couch to 5k.
Note: the inner slug had convinced me that since today was such a rotten day I shouldn't run. Then, for some reason, I listened to my inner Nike and just did it. Turned out to be a wonderful run -- yes, I actually enjoyed it. Me. Even though I ran indoors, I went much faster than I used to. Not so much trudging, much more actual running. Very weird. Take that, slug!
Plus, 2-1/2 miles walking (very slowly, with the occasional skid on the icier spots).

1 comment:

Theresa said...

Yay, Merry! Way to kick your inner slug.

I too had a great run yesterday. Huh.

As far as how you're feeling w.r.t. how you look, it's certainly something that I can relate to. If it's helping to keep you motivated, great! (How I look provides only very temporary motivation for me.) But don't forget that slow and steady wins the race! And maybe focus on the positive changes. You can run longer! You are getting stronger! Find the beauty in yourself that's there no matter what size you are.

And now I am sounding preachy so I shall stop. :+)