Saturday, September 15, 2007

Me and Scarlett O'Hara

As God is my witness, I'll never be fat or hungry again.
- What Scarlett O'Hara would have said if she'd been writing this blog.

Been having a rotten couple of weeks: family issues and a frankly insane work schedule has led to me being short of sleep and not doing well diet wise. The first week, I packed a lunch each day, but I didn't have time to eat it. The daily walks have been abandoned for the last week, while I work through lunch and am usually too tired to eat much dinner.

Friday, I thought the crunch time was over. I've been coming home too tired to exercise, so I made sure I took the time to do an aerobics video before I went in to work. Besides, I reasoned, I was damn well going to take a walk at lunch.

Except that when I arrived at my cubicle there were three people waiting for me, there was a crisis, millions of Euros riding on a deal and the extremely convoluted installation instructions had to be rewritten at the last minute. Walk? Ha. Healthy food? It is to laugh. Grab a doughnut as you pass the kitchen.

Two weeks of this and all my good habits have apparently taken a walk without me. And they haven't come back. This is starting to turn into a blog tracking my failure, not my success. Well, screw that.

I have made progress. I am closer to make eating vegetables and exercising daily a habit, something that I can do without thinking. I do good, then something always causing me to fall back into fast food and sloth. Too much pressure at work, lack of organization or motivation, something. So really the one habit I'm getting ingrained into my psyche is the one of getting back up and getting back into it again. Do good, fall down, get up and do good. It's automatic now. I'm not going to be deterred. I Have Spoken. (You'll have to picture me standing against a dramatic sunset, one fist raised defiantly to Heaven, "As God is my witness...")

Two things I am going to concentrate on:
1 - Make a point of taking some time off on the weekends, just to regroup. Working every weekend is stupid, no matter how Important the job. I can't function that way. I need to prepare vegetable food-stuffs on the weekend, since I don't have the time during the week.
2 - Make a point of shutting off work and stress and going to bed. I can't do everything. I can't make things better by stressing about what I can't do.

Frankly, my dear, I can't give a damn. - What Rhett Butler would have said if he'd been in this position.

(Oh come on. I had to say it.)

It's weird, but it feels better to write this. Usually anything that sounds too whiny makes me cringe. It was hard to write the thyroid post, because it felt too self-pitying. But I feel better acknowledging that I haven't done what I set out to do -- yet -- and that I have lost some ground in this battle.

And what the hell. Tomorrow is another day.


Katharine O'Moore-Klopf said...

Too much work, family issues, not enough sleep or exercise, the wrong foods, and depression will work together to bring on colds and other virusy or germy things. Tomorrow is another day. I'll get up and exercise tomorrow. Join me, Scarlett?

The Merry said...

Ah'm with yuh, Melanie!

All right, so I can't do accents. What can I say. I'll still get up tomorrow morning and work out!

BCB said...

Does it help to know you're inspiring me? To envy of your determination, anyway. Sounds like you and I have the same work/stress load right now. Life would be so much easier if I could just get everyone else to do what I want them to do. Sigh. I guess I'll have to try harder to get MYSELF to do what I want me to do. Today.

BTW, I love coming over here just to look at the pictures. You have found some amazingly gorgeous pictures.

Pssst. Why are you sitting here reading this? Go DO something!

Crabby McSlacker said...

So that ability to keep getting back up and trying again, over and over and over? That is So Freakin' Important! If you are now eating vegetables and exercising more than you used to you, that's great. Progress comes in fits and starts and that determination to get back on track is a huge asset.

And I agree with bcb--you're quite inspiring even when you claim to be "whining!"

Anonymous said...

Yep, getting back on, and back on, and ... I really think that's the key. My last week kind of blew up all my positive headway as well. But I'm with you, never give up!

p.s., this post didn't at all sound whiny to me.