Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The many uses of guilt

epic fail photos - Romance FAIL
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Quote du jour: If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
-- Anon

Site du jour: The How to Write Badly Well blog created a Random Folktale Generator. No more casting around for something to write about, the plot creates itself! Some assembly required.

UPDATE: Got the walk done!

All the comments yesterday about guilt got me thinking.

(Dang it, I hate it when you guys do things like that to me. Thinking? At this hour of the morning?)

To me, guilt is useful, so long as you don’t linger over it. Accept it, learn from it, and move on. ‘nuff said. If I aim for a goal and miss, I count that as a FAIL. Hopefully one with lessons learned, so I can make different mistakes the next time.

I use guilt as a tool in my fight against my inner slug. It gets me up in the morning, it makes me get on the elliptical or lace up the walking shoes. I use guilt whenever I put up a post about a challenge, something I want to do to extend myself. The difference is that these days, I don't dwell on a FAIL.

When I was young, I used to feel guilty all the time; it was my default position. I was the sort of person who’d say “I’m sorry” whenever people told me I apologize too much. Someone once gave me a copy of “When I say no, I feel guilty.” I just ran across it the other day, and yes, I do feel guilty that I’ve never opened the cover and read a single page. All the same, I’ve mostly learned to deal with guilt, accept that it has a place in my general scheme of things. Just not a very big place. I’ll shake the hand of guilt, but I no longer feel the urge to hug guilt to myself as if it were a best friend. Honestly, we’re not that close any more, and I’m fine with that.

Speaking of FAIL, I spent yesterday's lunchtime working instead of walking. No good reason. Since the back has improved a bit more, I'm falling back into the old standby of ignoring my body and concentrating on work. This is repeating old mistakes, which I do consider a FAIL. Today will be different.

Posted from DPad on my iPad


One Crazy Penguin said...

Love is blind, but only because the braille is so much fun :p

The Merry said...


C said...

I walked today. Now it's your turn.

Guilt and I are unfortunately still a couple. I have battered woman's syndrome.

messymimi said...

Guilt should be what spurs to change, not the permanent guest of the soul. If that makes any sense.

Enjoy the walk.

Spilling Ink said...

I've been addicted to feeling guilty all my life. I think my tombstone will say "I'm sorry"

Crabby McSlacker said...

Ah, interesting post and discussion. Funny how easy it is to get addicted to guilt when it's not nearly as fun as most other addictions.

I'm trying to go easier on the "to do's" and remind myself more of the "have dones". I am also coming to grips with the fact that everything is not gonna get done all the time; I'm trying to aim for the stuff that's MOST important on any given day, and shrug my shoulders over the rest.

Work in progress, however....

Gina said...

Great picture.

There's always something for me to feel guilty about. I try not to think about it. :)

But, I do.

There is so much information overload "out there" that I become overwhelmed with the awareness I'm not living up to the standards.

I am continually in a mental prayer mode asking for help to keep my priorities strait and not get distracted by all the other "shoulds" that may be nice but are not as important.

I like what you said about not dwelling on the fail.

Julie said...

I started every day, during the kids-at-home years with "I'm sorry" but it never was about guilt, it was because I truly WAS very sad (sorrowful) for whatever-the-hell-it-was.

Guilt is a non-word and non-existent entity to me, but I do see how folks are motivated by it. Just not for me.

So glad you got a walk in! And yeah I know what you mean, commenters at my place make me think too!