Friday, December 28, 2007

Okay, God, enough already?

No matter how bad things get, there's no reason why they shouldn't simply get worse.
-Douglas Adams

I thought I was all set. I finally asked the seller to provide a home warranty for a year. If he was that confident in his wiring and plumbing, I wanted him to back it in writing. And he did, so I figured everything was settled.

Nope. There's more house drama.

My headache du jour is with the 401k people. I'm taking out a loan to cover the down payment (since I will please God get a loan from a relative in a few months to pay the 401k back).

So I go to fill out the form they sent me, and it indicates that I have to have my husband sign as well.

I call the 401k company and explain to the customer service rep I'm not married.

Him: Our records indicate that you are married. This could affect getting the loan approved.Can you prove that you're not married?

Me: How do I prove that I've never been married?

Him: Well, do you have any documentation? Maybe a copy of a divorce settlement?

(At this point I begin gently hitting my head against the wall...)

They consider this issue serious enough to delay my getting the loan, which means I'll have to push the closing date back, which means I'll have to... oh, I don't know, probably something. Hey, maybe they can delay matters for a couple more weeks, at which case I'll be out of my apartment and homeless!

Yes, I know I'm dramatizing. I like to think of the Worse Case Scenarios even though they almost never come to pass, just so I can be prepared. On the plus side, eventually Life is going to get tired of throwing challenges my way. Or I'll become a tough, assertive person who sneers at obstacles, climbs over them, and charges ahead to her goal. Well, it's possible.

I'm not going to hold my breath though.


Keziah Fenton said...

You're welcome to come crash with Ky and I if you end up homeless. The commute to work might be a bit ridiculous but there's always a bed here for you any time you want it.

Maybe if you went in and showed the lack of tan line on your ring finger...

Crabby McSlacker said...

Oh crap, they want you to prove your NOT married? I didn't know they issued Not-Marriage certificates. God, how frustrating.

the Bag Lady said...

Perhaps an affidavit from your mommy and/or daddy, signed in front of some legal-type person, swearing that their little girl is, yes, dammit, a spinster, "and has provided us with no grand-children, much to our dismay/delight...blah, blah, blah".
Or not. (Or an affidavit from your dog...would probably carry about the same weight, legally.)
How does one go about proving you are not/have never been married?

Heather said...

that is ridiculous (the part about being married)! those people sound like nuts. I am sorry that you are still dealing with all of this.

Katharine O'Moore-Klopf said...

I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with idiotic bureaucrats.

Reb said...

God forbid that a woman should be able to own property in her own name! What is this the 1800'S? Next thing you know, women will want to work outside the house and vote!

You might want to make sure they haven't confused you with another Mary who needs a cooler name!

Oh, maybe because your name is Mary, you must be married!

Anonymous said...

oh good grief. Call the 401k people again and ask to speak with someone else, preferably a supervisor. I dealt with similar hassles myself recently and it makes a difference when you speak to someone who can think for themselves. Really. Do this on Monday.

The Merry said...

McB, I'm going to call again Monday. It's so far beyond stupid that it's verging toward funny. I'm trying to laugh rather than stress. I figure that this is God's way of teaching me to grow a spine and be assertive.