Saturday, December 29, 2007

Bring on the popcorn!

I've decided to treat my life as if it were something happening to someone else. Really, when you step back and look at it, this situation is not without humor.

The background: My progress toward getting a house has been held up at the last minute by a bureaucratic mixup: the bank says they need my husband's signature on the loan or else they need documentation proving I'm unmarried.

The story so far: My HR department, who are wonderful, offered to fax or email a screenshot of my single status in their records. So I called the bank to get a fax number or email address. This time got a woman customer service representative.

Me: All I need is a contact number or address and I can resolve this situation today. There is a time-critical element to this issue; if I can't resolve it, I won't be able to close on the house.

Her: I'm sorry, I can't give you any contact information. Because of your last call, your loan application has been put into an expedited queue. You can't send any information in, but a customer service representative will call you to deal with your situation personally.

Me: When will they call me?

Her: In a couple of business days.

Me: So instead of resolving the situation today, you're saying that I will have to wait a couple of days so you can expedite it?

Her: Yes.

So far as I'm concerned, my life is some kind of dark comedy. I like to think that Julia Roberts is playing my role. Bring on the popcorn!


the Bag Lady said...

Mary, you don't need a cooler name, you need a bigger stick! Call them back first thing on Monday and demand firmly to speak to someone in authority. You can do this. Yes, you can. Want me to come and help? (just call me Bubba Bag Lady...) In the meantime, shove over and give me some of that popcorn...

Heather said...

wow every day I Read and it does seem things just get more and more ridiculous! I agree with the other poster, you need to call them back or go in there and keep at it until you get what you want. At this point, there isnt much for you to lose!

Reb said...

How utterly ridiculous! If it were not for the near completion of the deal and the time line, I would tell them to sod-off and find another lender.

Sister Bubba has the right idea, but, if you can swing it, go in person and stand there making a nuisance of yourself until you speak to the manager and get it resolved.

Oh, you could tell every customer that comes in why you are there! That will make them pay attention real quick. If you do it without yelling, they can't have you removed.

Good luck getting this fixed up soon.

Zandile said...

I feel for you. I'm constantly amazed at how often, when I'm doing something that clearly millions of people have done before me, that the people I'm dealing with act like they've never done it before. Anyway, I like the idea of pretending its someone else's life. I may borrow that! Happy New Year!

Crabby McSlacker said...

Oh man, I can't believe it!

It's really pretty surreal. Hope these morons get their heads back out of their asses soon and fix the problem!

Theresa said...

Oh my Bob! I really can't think of anything else to say. How utterly ridiculous! Popcorn worthy indeed.