Armed and dangerously silly

Quote du jour: “Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.”
― H. Jackson Brown Jr.


I've got a new idea for making a fool of myself in public. I spend three hours a day sitting on a train. Why not work some exercise into that time? So I've packed an exercise band in next to my lunch. The Wes train in the afternoon starts out with few enough passengers that I can do some arm exercises without putting someone's eye out.

I tried it last Friday. The conductors suggested some good exercises. And what the hell. Haven't been deliberately foolish in a while now.

Exercise du jour: 15 minutes waving my arms around with an exercise band and trying not to feel foolish.



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Onward and downward

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”
― Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum

Survived the pizza peril. As expected, suffered a reversal temporarily on the downward progression. It helped that I was prepared for it. Back to being good. Onward and downward.

Exercise du jour: 60 minutes on the elliptical. It shall be done.
Update: DONE

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The many uses of guilt

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Quote du jour: If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
-- Anon

Site du jour: The How to Write Badly Well blog created a Random Folktale Generator. No more casting around for something to write about, the plot creates itself! Some assembly required.

UPDATE: Got the walk done!


All the comments yesterday about guilt got me thinking.



(Dang it, I hate it when you guys do things like that to me. Thinking? At this hour of the morning?)


To me, guilt is useful, so long as you don’t linger over it. Accept it, learn from it, and move on. ‘nuff said. If I aim for a goal and miss, I count that as a FAIL. Hopefully one with lessons learned, so I can make different mistakes the next time.



I use guilt as a tool in my fight against my inner slug. It gets me up in the morning, it makes me get on the elliptical or lace up the walking shoes. I use guilt whenever I put up a post about a challenge, something I want to do to extend myself. The difference is that these days, I don't dwell on a FAIL.


When I was young, I used to feel guilty all the time; it was my default position. I was the sort of person who’d say “I’m sorry” whenever people told me I apologize too much. Someone once gave me a copy of “When I say no, I feel guilty.” I just ran across it the other day, and yes, I do feel guilty that I’ve never opened the cover and read a single page. All the same, I’ve mostly learned to deal with guilt, accept that it has a place in my general scheme of things. Just not a very big place. I’ll shake the hand of guilt, but I no longer feel the urge to hug guilt to myself as if it were a best friend. Honestly, we’re not that close any more, and I’m fine with that.

Speaking of FAIL, I spent yesterday's lunchtime working instead of walking. No good reason. Since the back has improved a bit more, I'm falling back into the old standby of ignoring my body and concentrating on work. This is repeating old mistakes, which I do consider a FAIL. Today will be different.



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All the good things

Quote du jour: What doesn't destroy me makes me stronger.

-- Nietzche

Site du jour: Scientists are trying to read our thoughts. Mood rings are never going to come back into fashion.

Good things are happening:

• I pulled a muscle in my back. Which is good, because now I can't sit in a chair for more than an hour at a time. I have to get up and move around.
• I missed the connection for my second train this morning. Which is good, because it meant I was stuck at a very cold and windy transit center for half an hour and has to walk around to keep warm. More exercise!
• So all I need now is one more good thing... Oh yeah. It's Friday! All day!

Exercise du jour: Again, the goal is to take a lunch break, back away from the keyboard and walk. No one is forcing me to work through lunch. Four days in a row!

The Three Faces of Merry

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Quote du jour: The personality which swore to meditate early in the morning every day was not the same personality as the one who threw the alarm clock out of the window. - Gurdjieff (attrib.)

I think I'm three people in one:

• There's AM Merry, who wakes up full of hopeful plans for the day. Life seems full of opportunity. Of course there'll be time to exercise, so long as I stick to the To Do list.
  


• There's Workaday Merry, who devotes her hours to dancing the Corporate Shuffle (kinda like the Charleston, without the catchy tune). She resents having to stop work just to do something lame like exercise. "Can't AM Merry see how important this work is? Why stop just when I'm getting things done?"
  


• And then there's PM Merry, who wants nothing to do with the other two. Frankly, she thinks Workaday Merry is a humorless killjoy, and she can't stand AM Merry, whose plans should be shredded into confetti. All PM Merry wants is comfort food and the chance to curl up in bed.

Of course, what I really need is a job that doesn't take me an hour and a half to get away from each night. And I need for it to be lighter out on the way home. Something about that long train ride through the dark night drains all energy and optimism out of me. Luckily, both of those things can be changed, given time.

Site du jour: I gotta give these people credit for a shocking headline that grabs my attention even as I think, WTF? Popping a multi-vitamin can lead to debauchery.

Exercise du jour: Should I go for it? Oh sure, why not. Trying for a third day in a row of taking a walk at lunch.

Modest goals

Quote du jour: When we die, no one remembers us for what we weighed. Our weight isn't etched into our headstones.
-- Stephanie Klein, Moose, 2008


Site du jour: I liked this post about overwork versus getting things done. Myths of the overworked

Exercise du jour: Again, the goal is to take a lunch break, back away from the keyboard and walk. No one is forcing me to work through lunch. It shall be done.
Done! Hey, that's two in a row. Not that that makes a habit. But it does make for an improvement.



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Trying again...

Quote du jour: I always wanted a happy ending... now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.
-- Gilda Radner

Site du jour: Who knew rescuing a pet was so hard these days? I can understand rescue organizations being picky, but this is a bit extreme.Not good enough to adopt a pet?


Updated link: HERE

Exercise du jour: Again, the goal is to take a lunch break, back away from the keyboard and walk. No one is forcing me to do that to myself. I will take a break! I have spoken.
Done! I didn't wanna do it -- not for any good reason, I just didn't wanna. But I did it anyway. Do that enough times and I'll have a habit.

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Blogging on a train

Geez, the personal details people talk about on cell phones. The guy on the train just called his son " to hear his voice," He asked the kid how his Christmas was. Apparently, the place where the man was being held, he wasn't allowed to make phone calls. He's in a halfway house now, so he can call any day except Sunday. And in a few months, he'll be able to find them both a place to live.

The other night on the train, a woman was yelling on her cell at her son. After she hung up, she called someone else and had a long conversation about how "DHS said she wasn't a good mother, so they wouldn't let her throw her son a birthday party."

I really hope it wasn't the same kid.

Exercise du jour: I am going to take a walk at lunch. No excuses. I'm posting this to publicly shame myself into doing it.

Damn it. I don't know whether to classify this as a WIN or a FAIl.

I mean -- was it my fault I was born female, and heir to all the exercise-inhibiting cramps that female flesh is heir to?

(That sounds so much more fancy than saying cramps stopped me from taking a walk at lunch. Gotta go with what sounds good.)

On the other hand, I was able to do 20 minutes on the elliptical this evening. Should that qualify me for a gold star? I think that I'm gonna call this a win, on the whole.

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Winter is coming

It's dark outside.
It's too dark outside.
Therefore, it is entirely logical for me to think that it's too dark to:

• Exercise yes, that includes the elliptical in my bedroom, the one that is currently sulking from neglect


• Do yard work no, even if the sun is up for part of the day. Hey, it's going to get dark soon. No sense starting something I can't finish, right?


• Clean my house okay, so this one takes more rationalizing, but bear with me. It's cold outside and therefore unless I want to spend all my money on heating bills, it's going to be cold inside. Therefore, I think I will spend the rest of this month curled up in bed huddling under the covers.

I do realize that work is needed on the attitude front. On the plus side, I have been doing well on the car-free front. Not that I had much choice, since I had to take the car in to see Mr. Mechanic. I will have to drive today, since I can't pick up the car from the mechanic and also hie myself to work. (That's one drawback to taking a commuter train that doesn't run in the middle of the day.)

Exercise du jour: 4 miles of walking a day. I can, I can, IcanIcanIreallycan.

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

But baby it's cold outside

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Quote du jour: I was so cold the other day, I almost got married.
- Shelley Winters

Quiz du jour: Reader, I married him, a quiz about lines from well-known books in English literature. Some of them I could identify the book, some I could only identify the author. A couple, alas, I knew them not.

Exercise du jour: 4 miles walking, 15 minutes ellipticalling.
Sigh. Yes, again. Let's see if I can do the full stint this time, even though I hab a code and hab to sneeze before I can breed through my nodz. (Yes, having a cold does make me type like that. What? It doesn't affect your spelling?)

Done! With the help of drugs, so I won't qualify for any Olympic records (I'm sure Nyquil^TM is on the proscribed list), but it's done!

She who hesitates doesn't ride her bike to work

Quote du jour: Home is whatever you can rebel against.
- Pico Iyer

You (i.e. I) gotta get up earlier and leave earlier for work if I want to leave the house pedaling.
It's not stormy out right now. It's not even snowing... at least, not on the route I take.
So what's keeping me here? Besides my natural inclination to stay where it's warm rather than face the cruel, cruel world out there.
Sorry, can't talk now. Gotta go.

Exercise du jour: Cycling to work. 16 miles.
FAIL. Well, I didn't do the full 16. On the other hand, I did haul myself out the door and on the bike. It's not my fault that as I'm pedaling along, the rain changed to thick, heavy snowflakes. All of a sudden it felt like I was cycling along in a snowglobe that someone had shaken up. Kinda hard to see where I was going. The evening ride didn't have the predicted thunderstorm, but on the other hand it did have lots of black ice, which I don't like much either.
Maybe I'll give myself a star for trying even though all the Fates conspired against me. I did get some miles of cycling in, though not as many as I'd wanted.
There! Take that, Fate!

Change of plan

Quote du jour: If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Site du jour: This is probably something that would only amuse academics, but I liked the honesty of it: The Journal of Universal Rejection.

The founding principle of the Journal of Universal Rejection (JofUR) is rejection. Universal rejection. That is to say, all submissions, regardless of quality, will be rejected. Despite that apparent drawback, here are a number of reasons you may choose to submit to the JofUR...

I'm tired of wrestling with wildebeests, so I've made a decision. Rather than keep increasing the distance, I'm going to stick to a mere 2 miles at lunch, but work on getting 'em done a little faster. It's not as ego-boosting, but I can fit it into the schedule.

It really does make me feel I'm accomplishing something if I can write "Oh, I ran 10 miles today." (I would love to be able to write that. Just once. Maybe someday.) Being able to go a lesser distance but in a faster pace... it's not as impressive. But what the hell. If it makes me fit rather than quit, then you must acquit I'll do it. It's better than trying to achieve a goal that can be easily sidetracked by life, work, and relatives.

Exercise du jour: 2 miles round the trail at lunch. Rain? Who cares. Work pressure? Bah. I'm gonna go for it.

The Battlestar Galactica Workout

So, confession time.
No, not like St. Augustine.

I don't spend money on gym memberships or things like that, but even my freestyle exercising can cost money. Especially when I run out of motivation.

When the inner slug waxes wroth and kicks my motivation down the street and into the neighbor's recyclable bin, I tend to bring out the heavy guns re: exercise motivation. In other words, I go shopping.

As a Luddite, my inclination is to ignore anything new. That includes the "hot" TV shows... at least until they've had time to cool off. But after years of denial, I finally watched the TV series Battlestar Galactica. I needed something to watch while I did the elliptical, so I downloaded the first season and watched them while I pedaled.

If you've never seen the show, it's got a lot of conflict and tension. That is a great way to make the time pass while you're exercising. Anyone have any other tense TV shows or movies that help with the workout?


Exercise du jour: 2 miles around Nike. Hopefully at a nice, brisk pace. Maybe I should try to watch a TV show on my iPod while jogging around the trail. Or maybe not. I can just see the headlines. (News at 10: woman injures herself while jogging. "We told her to use a treadmill," friends say.)

Done! Weird -- awful run, hated it. Still faster than the other day. Except that for some reason my knee is bugging me.

Page from Augustine of Hippo's Confessions courtesy of Tomisti.
Cylon courtesy of Fernando Estel.

Because if I don't post this, I won't do it

Bizarre du jour: Okay, so you probably already know that the Wikihow site can be a bit odd at times. They offer articles like "How to be more popular" or "What to do when the airplane is on fire and the pilots have developed amnesia and can't remember how to land" (or something very close to that). So it's always a good idea to take their posts with a grain of salt, if not a whole shot of tequila. Even so, this one has me stumped: How to make people think you're immortal. I mean... why?


Inappropriate quote du jour: Feeling guilty has never burned a single calorie. - John Tesh

Bah. What does John Tesh know.

This blog is all about guilt.

Well, okay, it's all about getting me to get out there and exercise, but guilt plays a huge part in that. So I'm posting this up here to make me get out there and run today. There are people running under far worse conditions.

Exercise du jour: Jog 3 miles
Done! Finally. A good run. Rain, shmain.

U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Dominique M. Lasco

Forget Vegas, women find water romantic

Forget Vegas and its 24-hour wedding chapels, Oregon is the quick path to romance.

Went up to the Columbia River Gorge a couple weeks ago. At Latourell Falls, there was a couple down by the base of the fall, kissing each other with the passionate intensity usually associated with the kind of situation where the man proposes and the woman accepts. (Or the other way 'round, I suppose.)

Latourell Falls, minus the kissing couple

The next convenient waterfall along the Gorge is Wakheena Falls. When we got there, there was another couple getting their engagement photo taken by a professional photographer. Their grins were fixed in place, as if the photographer were taking rather a long time to find the shot that would show the world their love.

Wakheena Falls, without the engaged couple

Then we went to the next waterfall, Multnomah Falls. This is a popular place for weddings.

Multnomah Falls... it ain't possible to take a photo of this falls without people in the shot.

By this time, I was starting to see the pattern. The next stop along the road was a campground, presumably a honeymoon spot. I put my foot firmly on the gas pedal and kept right on going.

Exercise du jour: I've had this kickboxing video sitting on my shelf for... um... okay, since Christmas, okay? It's been making the shelf feel like it has a purpose in life, so it's not as if it's been totally useless. I figure I'm never going to crack open the DVD unless I post it publicly up here, and maybe I can do the exercises without pounding the damn foot. Worth a try.

Oh crap. Not done, but for an embarrassing reason. I can't find the friggin' DVD. Maybe I left it on the shelf so long it crumbled into dust? There does seem to be an unaccountable amount of dust on that shelf, which I am loath to put down to my housekeeping skills.
On the other hand, I sure as shooting got a damn good workout today. Planted trees, which involved quite a bit of hard labor and sweating and high-caloric swearing. So I done good. Just not the good I'd planned to do.

Latourell Falls photo courtesy of gharness


Multnomah Falls photo courtesy of travis S.

Not that I'm in a rut or anything

It's Wednesday.
Again.
Could've sworn I just did Wednesday last week. Only back from vacation one week and I'm in a rut.

Exercise du jour: 2 miles jogging. Which I also did last week. Geez.
Could really use some gratuitous excitement here. Instead, I'm off to work. Will try to get the damn exercise done some damn time during the damn day. Check back later... much later...
Done! Amazing how running changes the mood. I forgot to bring my workout clothes with me to work, so at first I thought I'd have to put jogging off. But since this was my day for working late, I knew 'later' would translate to 'never'. And I refused to admit the possibility of never.
It's amazing how everything that went wrong turned out ending right:
I went across the street and bought new workout clothes -- which turned out to be 40% off.
It was too hot to run on the track -- but the shady forest trail was green, leafy and cool, perfect for running in my geeky new clothes.
In fact, it was quite a nice little run. I went back to work and sat through all the dull, late-hour meetings feeling positively good about life.

Thanks to XKCD for the cartoon.

Top 10 Reasons Not To Run

10. It's too nice outside... I'll get hot.
What, you've never heard of water bottles or sunscreen? Forgotten all those lovely, shady, through-the-forest running trails just down the street?

9. There are too many people outside. They'll stare at the fat chick and laugh.
a. Screw 'em. b. Who cares? Once the run is done, you'll be feeling a lot better than they will.

8. I'll huff and puff.
If you get out of breath, you have my permission to slow down. But you're going to go out there and try anyway.

7. I'll get red-faced and sweaty.
There will be a shower waiting for you when you get back.

6. There's a slight twinge in my left big toe.
If it's still bothering you after the warm up, we'll re-consider. But you're going out there anyway.

5. There's a really good movie on TV that I want to watch!
And there's a really good VCR waiting to tape it for you!

4. I'm really not in the mood.
Good to know. Now get your running clothes on.

3. But I need to wash the dishes, vacuum the house, re-shingle the roof, rake the lawn, and solve Global Warming first, before the run!
Laudable, but not plausible. Run first, solve Global Warming afterward. And put on your cotton socks.

2. My poor old dog will feel lonely if I abandon her.
And she'll feel delighted when you come back, especially if you smell interesting and give her a treat as an apology. Slip into those running shoes.

1. I -- don't -- wanna!
Shut up and start lacing the shoes.

Exercise du jour: Jogging 4 miles
Done! Silly as it sounds, writing all the feeble excuses down, and posting them publicly, really did help me get up out of the damn chair.

Time for a pithy party

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Okay, I’ll keep this short.

I don’t wanna.



I’m simply documenting this, not asking for sympathy or ‘you go girl’ or a kick-in-the-virtual-pants. Just noting that I really really don’t want to go out there and work out. It helps to write it down and post it up here. Even whining is useful, or so I’m choosing to believe. I really don’ wanna. I’m tired, I’m sick, and I’ve gotten out of the habit.


Yes, I know I’m gonna do it anyway. I have to. Done whining now.

Exercise du jour: Walking. In the rain. Which means that at least the air will be fresh and clear ... and wet ... whine...
Done. Finally.