Thursday, October 18, 2007

Me & Cary Grant

Anyone who's ever seen the movie "Suspicion" knows that technically this blog post should be titled "Me & Joan Fontaine," as Cary Grant’s character was the one causing the suspicion -- but Joan Fontaine's character was pretty dopey in this movie. And honestly, which one would you prefer to be linked with? Exactly.

What does Cary Grant have to do with looking for a house? Trust the Mary. There's a connection. Two connections, actually. Well, three. Looking for a house is a lot like looking for a mate or looking at a Cary Grant film: it can be romantic, or a comedy, or both. And it can create inside you a feeling of... suspicion...


Call me suspicious, but sorting through descriptions of houses awakens my inner paranoiac as well as irritating my inner editor:
  • When they say “Act quickly, this home won’t last long” – do they mean “won’t stay long on the market”? Or are they really saying that it’s going to fall apart as soon as the deal is closed?
  • Why would I want a home with a formal dinning room? I don’t like loud noises, formal or not.
  • Why do they want me to know that a house is surrounded by a “picked fence”? Was each board selected with especially great care?
Found a bank that would be willing to loan me as much money as I’m comfortable borrowing. Bottom of the market, definitely, but there are a few houses out there all the same. Not too many.

The next step is to start interviewing house agents. Have no idea how to go about doing that, but we’ll see what happens. I think the best thing to do would be to pretend I have some idea what I’m doing. I mean, Cary Grant didn’t start out as Cary Grant. I’ll read up on it a bit. Must be documentation out there somewhere. Also, this would probably be a good time to practice being suave, debonair, and charming.

And for some reason this isn’t doing wonderful things for the waistline either. I’ve gained four pounds in the last three days. Clearly I need more stress in my life. (Note to God: I’m just kidding about that last bit. Honest.) Or maybe the BCB theory is correct, and unbeknownst I’m eating more food to compensate for abandoning my dog. (My mother is actually spoiling the dog rotten, and the dog seems to be lapping it up, but that’s not the point.)

7 comments:

kathryn said...

You definitely don't want to be Joan Fontaine in suspicion. I love Cary Grant, but could there have been a more annoying, wimpy, doe-eyed leading lady.

Good luck with the house hunting. Sounds horrendous, but think how good it'll be when you finally settle. No more real estate agents to deal with, no more slack landlords - it's your space.

McB said...

Can women be suave and debonaire? Research that while you're at it.

Mary said...

Thanks Kathryn, I keep thinking how nice this will be when it's done.

McB, why should the men get to have all the fun? I bet Gloria Steinem would tell me I could be suave. Then again, you probably know me better than Gloria :(

Sheryl said...

Sheesh. You're the Mary I was talking about. Was I wrong? A reyou doing NaNo or 70 Days of Sweat?

I don't know Gloria at all. And I always like Cary Grant,regardless of his sexual proclivities. As long you're not referencing him from Mr. Blandings Builds his Dream House, you're fine.

Sheryl said...

Okay, it wasn't Cary either. It was OH, Louisa and ZaZa. There was a Mary signed up and I thought, sheesh, when does that woman have time to sleep? And Sweating with Sven just sounds like you. :-)

Mary said...

That depends entirely on how cute Sven is ;)

Katharine O'Moore-Klopf said...

House hunting is seriously Not Fun. I hope you and the Right House find each other soon.