Oh no, no no no.
I don't believe it. I don't want to believe it. In other words, no.
In the past five days I have gained six frickin' pounds. (That's similar to a regular six pounds, but even heavier.)
I suspect my thyroid is throwing a temper tantrum, 'cause that's just plain strange. I'm tempted to pull an Oprah, and move to Hawaii for a month. This time last year I was in Maui, sitting on a balcony taking pictures like this one. (View of Moloka`i from G-G's condo.)
Ever seen the view from my office window? Right now it looks like this. Yeah, that's what I thought too. And on top of everything, I'm gaining weight like a Sumo wrestler gearing up for a championship match. House hunting was supposed to help me lose weight.
The trouble is that I can't concentrate on more than one thing at a time. Right now all I can think about is finding a house. Tomorrow I'm going to go view my first house. Need to get prepared.Exercise? Oh yeah, I should do something like that. Later.
I've decided I'm going to be Positive about this. Setbacks are a chance for me to develop my skills. The only way I will successfully lose weight and keep it off is by learning to keep to my exercise & veggies routine even when things are hectic. It's okay to feel stressed about buying a house, dealing with realtors, banks, and the prospect of taking on obscene amounts of debt. Just so long as I keep exercising and eating healthy stuff.
This preoccupation with weight seems terribly narcisisstic when I compare myself to people I know who are facing challenges like chemotherapy or the loss of a loved one. What the hell am I complaining about? I know on an intellectual level that my sitting back and feeling gloomy won't lighten the burdens they have to carry. All the same it feels self-serving to say "well, life goes on," even though it does.
The prospect of death emphasizes the importance of life. I'm focusing on ways to lose weight because I want to enjoy my life while I'm living it, as much as I can. Or at least not look back at the end of my life and see that I never made any effort to live the way I want to live, look the way I want to look, etc. the way I want to etc.
This blog is meandering into maudlin musing. Should I post it or delete it? You decide.