Saturday, October 20, 2007

I gained HOW much?

Oh no, no no no.

I don't believe it. I don't want to believe it. In other words, no.

In the past five days I have gained six frickin' pounds. (That's similar to a regular six pounds, but even heavier.)

I suspect my thyroid is throwing a temper tantrum, 'cause that's just plain strange. I'm tempted to pull an Oprah, and move to Hawaii for a month. This time last year I was in Maui, sitting on a balcony taking pictures like this one. (View of Moloka`i from G-G's condo.)



Ever seen the view from my office window? Right now it looks like this. Yeah, that's what I thought too. And on top of everything, I'm gaining weight like a Sumo wrestler gearing up for a championship match. House hunting was supposed to help me lose weight.

The trouble is that I can't concentrate on more than one thing at a time. Right now all I can think about is finding a house. Tomorrow I'm going to go view my first house. Need to get prepared.Exercise? Oh yeah, I should do something like that. Later.

I've decided I'm going to be Positive about this. Setbacks are a chance for me to develop my skills. The only way I will successfully lose weight and keep it off is by learning to keep to my exercise & veggies routine even when things are hectic. It's okay to feel stressed about buying a house, dealing with realtors, banks, and the prospect of taking on obscene amounts of debt. Just so long as I keep exercising and eating healthy stuff.

This preoccupation with weight seems terribly narcisisstic when I compare myself to people I know who are facing challenges like chemotherapy or the loss of a loved one. What the hell am I complaining about? I know on an intellectual level that my sitting back and feeling gloomy won't lighten the burdens they have to carry. All the same it feels self-serving to say "well, life goes on," even though it does.

The prospect of death emphasizes the importance of life. I'm focusing on ways to lose weight because I want to enjoy my life while I'm living it, as much as I can. Or at least not look back at the end of my life and see that I never made any effort to live the way I want to live, look the way I want to look, etc. the way I want to etc.

This blog is meandering into maudlin musing. Should I post it or delete it? You decide.

5 comments:

Katharine O'Moore-Klopf said...

It is very hard to keep exercising and eating right when you're stressed. But I know that you can do it, girl. Exercising really will destress you a bit.

Crabby McSlacker said...

Don't you dare delete!

Anyway.

I can totally relate to the disconcerting effect real estate transactions can have on eating/exercise. Transitions of any kind really do mess with healthy routines.

For me, I gotta avoid 'all or nothing' mode. It's easy to feel like I either need to do everything the same as I would if nothing special were going on (which I can't, so I feel guilty) or to slack off entirely and wait for things to get back to normal. So instead I try to do what I can and congratulate myself enthusiastically for every accomplishment.

Good luck with the house hunt; it sounds exciting!

McB said...

Dearest Ms. Mary, stop beating yourself up. If you can't maintain the pace you set, it was probably too high to begin with. So now your body is in famine mode because you've slowed down and it thinks something must be wrong. Maintain moderate eating and exercise and eventually your body will realize that you aren't slacking, it is.

The stress thing ... well, it's a big step. But this isn't anything you can't do and you know we'll all be with you every step of the way, sharing our combined wisdom and experience whether you want to hear it or not.

lopemo - it's the new diet craze

Heather said...

These posts are important to look back on.

Good attitude.

BTW--- what time of the month is it? Once a month, for a week, I gain 10 lb.

Also, are you drinking all your water, being so busy? If not, you might be retaining.

You'd have to be eating a LOT to gain a true 6 lb in a week.

Mary said...

Thank you all -- I appreciate the positive comments. Probably in six months I'll look back at my current seeming lack of progress and see improvements that I can't see now!