Sheesh

Don't ask, don't tell

2012-01-27T07:52:00.001-08:00

Egad, I got tagged. That's what I get for being so quiet.

One reason I haven't been posting is that if I share any issues, people will try to tell me what I should do, even if I'm not even remotely asking for advice. In fact, i wasn't sure I should even mention it. I'm afraid of getting some well-intentioned commenter saying "you don't want people to offer advice? Well here's what I think you should do about it..."

it sounds like a simple enough, even trivial issue. But it's not really. Not if it stops me from posting. It inhibits me. ("You find it inhibiting? Here's what you should do...") I mean, if i post about a problem and you want to tell me what you did in a similar situation, that's wonderful. I'll sit at your feet and listen attentively. I'd love for you to share your experiences of life. Just don't want people telling me what to do with mine.

Posted from DPad on my iPad

Update:it's Friday!

Ha! He's a swinger! I always suspected...

Photo courtesy of: http://www.flickr.com/photos/spacey/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

Trying something new

2012-01-19T20:51:00.001-08:00

It is a dark and stormy night.

I am trying to see if I can blog on the iPad on the train.
If I can figure out how to sleep on the train, I'll really be doing well.

Posted from DPad on my iPad

Wait a minute... who turned the lights back on?

2012-01-18T20:01:00.000-08:00

Whew! It's bright in here now.
Must be time for a spring cleaning, or something like that.
(It's warm enough for a spring cleaning... the weathermen were all warning about a huge storm, 'Snowmagedden' approaching. Turns out to be more like 'Slushmagedden.')

I've been good, and I've been bad, but mostly I've been tired.
My immediate goal for the week is simply to get to sleep before midnight, so I can get up before I have to already be at work, so that I can get to work at an early enough hour that I can leave at a decent hour so that I can get home in time to get to sleep before midnight so that I can...

Oi vey maria. Enough already. I'd like the universe to send me a job that doesn't involve spending 3+ hours a day commuting. Preferably one that includes a respectable salary, positive co-workers, interesting-but-not-extremely-stressful work. Also, I'd like the workplace to be populated with single, straight Hugh Jackman lookalikes. (I thought I'd throw that in. You never know.)

New year, new challenge

2012-01-01T14:56:00.000-08:00

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Out with the old, on with the new. Challenge, that is.

One thing I noticed from going car-free for a month was that I spent more time going to the store and I spent more money at the store. Because I couldn't carry as much stuff on a bicycle, I shopped more often. The more I shop, the more I spend. Spending more is bad.

I wanted to try something different. I wanted to see if I could not go to the store for a month. Use up the food that I have in the pantry or the freezer. What would that be like? Can I do this? I have no idea. I want to find out.

So yesterday, I started up the evilSUV and went off to the grocery store. (I wanted to stock up on things like frozen vegetables and toliet paper.) Today, my freezer is stuffed to the gills with fruit and vegetables. If there's a power outage, I might have to re-think this idea.

I do realize it would be smarter to try this in the late summer, but I want to try it now. I'm curious. Maybe this will be a fabulous experience.

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Exercise du jour: 30 minutes on the elliptical. I can do it.
Done. I did it!

Survived the car-free month

2011-12-30T14:17:00.000-08:00

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Made it through 30 days of being car-free -- well, almost car free. I did take the car to visit the mechanic, and I drove it yesterday because I wanted to buy a heap of stuff from the store and I couldn't carry it all home on a bicycle. Ordinarily, I would've waited until the month was up, but I needed the stuff for this month's challenge.

My thoughts on going car-free for a month:

It's doable, in large part because I made a point of buying a house in a walkable neighborhood.
It takes planning and organizing, skills that are not among my strong points. If I want to go to the library, the grocery store, and Home Depot, I have to figure out my route and make sure that the lights are working on my bicycle.
I was limited in how much I could carry home at one time. Therefore, I shopped more often. Even though I bought fewer items each visit, I still bought more things because I was in the store more.
Going car-free is great if you have a monthly pass and access to a train or light-rail. It stinks if you take the bus. I didn't know this before, but I am an elitist. I hate riding the bus. I don't like the bus drivers and I don't like the people who ride buses. One woman I rode next to, Ms. Contagion, had a long conversation on her cell phone describing in detail how sick she was and how she still had to go to work. (I really hope she doesn't work in a restaurant.) On another bus ride, Mrs. Sharp Elbows squeezed in next to me. She kept jabbing me in the ribs. Finally I worked my arm in between us, so she couldn't actually hurt me anymore, but it was still uncomfortable. Note: I only rode the bus a couple times. There might be intelligent, charming, polite and healthy people out there riding buses. I just didn't see them.
Going car-free is a terrific way to work in exercise into your day. I love having exercise become part of my commute.
Having a car-free commute saves a ton of money. A lot of people told me that they could ride the light rail, but their car got good mileage. I don't think they've actually sat down and ran the numbers. By taking the train instead of the car, I saved over $300 a month. Granted, my car is an SUV, so it doesn't get fantastic mileage. But even if a car does pretty good with the gas, it's much cheaper to take the train.

Will I continue to take the train to work? Definitely. Will I use the bicycle to do my shopping? Most of the time. Am I ready to toss the car keys away and walk everywhere? Not yet. But I think I can do a lot more without driving.

Site du jour: A family decided to get rid of their car and go car-free. And they're not living in a particularly walkable neighborhood.

It's Boxing Day -- not Kickboxing Day

2011-12-26T15:30:00.000-08:00

Quote du jour: Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
- Kin Hubbard

I've never found a good explanation for why the day after Christmas is called Boxing Day. Even Scopes found it hard to explain. All I know is that it means I have to clean up wrapping paper and do some extra dishwashing.

Wait. It also means I have to go back to work tomorrow? Already? Jeez.

Something tells me that if I found a job that I loved to do and looked forward to every morning, I wouldn't have that reaction. Just a hunch.

Job hunt update: Got some nibbles, but most employers aren't really interested in hiring between Christmas and New Years. Still, I've updated the résumé, dusted off the interview outfit, and posted my latest info up on Monster. (Surprisingly, that's still a highly popular job site. I'd have expected a more tech-specific site, but that's where a lot of employers still look.)

Exercise update: I've been Suzy Slacker all week. Luckily, this blog is a guilt-free zone (or I'd have a lot to say to myself on this subject). Instead, I'm going to focus on getting something done exercise-wise every day this week. It's not that I'm incapable. I'm just totally unmotivated. Pretty sure I don't need to be motivated to exercise; I just need to be capable.
Plus, if I get up and work out this week, I'll end the year on an up note, which is always a good thing.

Winter is coming

2011-12-19T06:18:00.000-08:00

It's dark outside.
It's too dark outside.
Therefore, it is entirely logical for me to think that it's too dark to:

Exercise yes, that includes the elliptical in my bedroom, the one that is currently sulking from neglect

Do yard work no, even if the sun is up for part of the day. Hey, it's going to get dark soon. No sense starting something I can't finish, right?

Clean my house okay, so this one takes more rationalizing, but bear with me. It's cold outside and therefore unless I want to spend all my money on heating bills, it's going to be cold inside. Therefore, I think I will spend the rest of this month curled up in bed huddling under the covers.

I do realize that work is needed on the attitude front. On the plus side, I have been doing well on the car-free front. Not that I had much choice, since I had to take the car in to see Mr. Mechanic. I will have to drive today, since I can't pick up the car from the mechanic and also hie myself to work. (That's one drawback to taking a commuter train that doesn't run in the middle of the day.)

Exercise du jour: 4 miles of walking a day. I can, I can, IcanIcanIreallycan.

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Can't go forward, don't want to go backward. Will tread.

2011-12-12T05:33:00.000-08:00

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Quote du jour: Nothing will work unless you do.
- Maya Angelou

Feel a bit up in the air. Can't concentrate on exercise because I'm spending a lot of my time focusing on getting a job or fixing the one I've got. Going to see the manager of the department today to see if something can be done. Sent 5 résumés out last night. A couple of the jobs were pretty good fits for what I can do, another was a long shot, one was 'meh' and the last one was sent to a former co-worker whose new company might need somebody.

Exercise du jour: I will aim for 4 miles of walking a day. I know, I know, it's not pushing myself to do this. This week, maintenance is all I am asking of myself.

Would it be okay if I were assertive? Or I could just impersonate a doormat if you'd prefer

2011-12-06T20:08:00.000-08:00

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Good: Legs not so swollen up, can walk without limping. Still don't know what the heck I did to earn that.
Bad: I don't know if I should even ask a doctor about it.

Remember a few months back, when I was talking to new recruiters every day? Every time it was the same routine:

They'd describe the job and ask what rate I'd expect.
I'd say the rate would depend on whether or not I'd have to pay for health insurance.

The responses fell into three basic categories:

Most recruiters said "No insurance and oh my that's a high rate Merry."
Some said "Welllll, we have a sort of reimbursement plan and oh my that's a high rate Merry."
A rare few said "Oh yes, we offer health insurance and that rate is a bit high, but we can deal."

This job I'm at now, the conversation fell into the last category "but of course there's a waiting period." The waiting period is now up. And... they don't offer health insurance.

So I send them an email saying, essentially, "WTF?"

They sent back an email saying "let's chat." I was not interested in anything they had to say unless it was in writing, so I suggested email instead.

Now I get an email from them saying "Oh gosh! Turns out that when you first spoke to the recruiter we did offer health insurance, but by the time you got an offer from the company, we'd changed our policy. Still, since we're such nice people, we'll up your salary by an additional $300 a month so you can buy your own insurance."

Huh. Now I've got to sit down and figure out whether or not that's a good move. I'm not even sure I could get health insurance -- surely being overweight is a bad mark in the eyes of an insurance company?

Site du jour: Jennette Fulda wrote a post on insurance for the self-employed. I found it clear, comprehensive, and depressing. I think the best thing to do would be to marry a rich old man who had no close relatives. Preferably one who is Canadian.

How hard can it be?

2011-12-05T05:46:00.000-08:00

“In a sense the car has become a prosthetic, and though prosthetics are usually for injured or missing limbs, the auto-prosthetic is for a conceptually impaired body or a body impaired by the creation of a world that is no longer human in scale.”
- Rebecca Solnit, Wanderlust: A History of Walking

Yes, I thought up another 30 day challenge. It occurred to me, since my car is having difficulties, that this might be a good month to try going car-free. This might be considered making a virtue of necessity: my mechanic doesn't work weekends, so with my work schedule it's awkward trying to get the car to him right now. I'm going to try to work another week of four 10-hour days, so maybe I can drop the car off Friday, pick it up next Friday. Aside from that, I want to see if I can go without driving anywhere at all for a month.

What I've discovered so far is that I'm getting a lot more incidental exercise. Just shopping for groceries or picking up a DVD from the library involves walking or cycling for several miles. On the down side, I have to plan a lot better. Because it gets dark so much earlier, my bike ride had to be cut short yesterday when I found out that the batteries in my bike lights had quit working. Even so, I managed to cycle for about five miles. It's not much, but it's a start.

These 30-day challenge things seem a bit cheesy, but I've noticed that they get results. The other day, I was running out of steam at work at the end of my 12-hour stint. I picked up a packet of M&Ms to give me some energy, but I couldn't finish them. The first taste of chocolate was great, but after that I didn't enjoy the experience. It tasted as if I were eating wax flavored with a lot of chemicals. Probably I was. Maybe going a month sans car will lead me to automatically reach for my bike helmet instead of my car keys.

Site du jour: SuperMarket Sweep blog. Last weekend in San Francisco there was the 6th annual Supermarket Sweep race, where participants go to local grocery stores -- on their bicycles -- and haul food back to donate it to charity. The winners hauled 845 pounds in 2 hours. (It was a father-and-son team on a tandem. They had a long line of grocery carts, filled with groceries and linked together, that they hauled up and down S.F. hills.) Makes my little grocery run (1 pannier) look pretty wimpy.

Exercise du jour: This week, I'm aiming for 5 miles of walking a day and 15 minutes ellipticalling at night.
Most emphatic FAIL.
Yes, I did walk about 2 miles, what with my commute to the Max and the trek down to the cafeteria for the morning coffee, but other than that -- Pffft!
My legs felt swollen at the start of the day.
It only got worse as the day went on. I couldn't even touch my toes. (No, that's not normal. Usually I can almost touch my palms to the carpet.)
Don't ask me what the problem was today. I don't know. I didn't exercise at all yesterday, neither did I feel sore from the bike ride the day before. I'm pretty sure that starting my cycle wouldn't cause my hamstring muscles to throw a hissy fit. On the walk home, it was so bad that I was limping. Noticeably.
I think this is a sign that I should chalk the day up to Whatever and try again tomorrow.

Wake me up when it's December, 'k?

2011-11-21T04:16:00.000-08:00

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Good: Thanks to the lack of car, I got a lot of walking done this weekend just from Getting Things Done. To wit, walked 7-1/2 miles this weekend.
Bad: Might not get any exercise at all this week.

The next seven days are going to be hellish. I don't get paid for hours I don't work, so I'm going to try to work three 12-hour days this week to make up for the loss of money from the holidays. Plus which, I'm going to be spending money, flying home for Thanksgiving and then on to Southern California for a family reunion. The odds of healthy eating, regular exercise, or enough sleep occurring this week are, unlike the woman typing these words, extremely slim.

Site du week: Eco Cat Lady has a great post on why Alarm Clocks are the Root of All Evil.

Getting crafty

2011-11-18T05:06:00.000-08:00

Confession du jour: I'm trying to learn crafty things like crochet. (Yes, I know this photo shows Cary Grant trying to knit. Stretch your imagination a bit, okay? I defy you to produce a photo of a hunk crocheting. Must be something only women do.)

I figure that spending three hours a day commuting by public transport should provide the ideal time and place to learn this craft stuff. For one thing, you can't throw the tangled yarn down and run out the door screaming. Not while the train is moving, at any rate.

If all goes as planned, I will be able to do a bit more serious exercise today. Since I worked four 10-hour days, I get today off. So I have the time to exercise... presuming I don't spend it doing chores. Are chores more important than exercise? Clearly not. Well... unless you want to be able to find clean clothes, eat off clean plates, have the electric bill paid before they cut it off... pish! Trivial things like that.

Exercise du jour: I'm figuring two hours of ellipticalling: one in the morning, one in the evening.

Note: I don't know how this will go. I've been extremely lax on the elliptical lately, so this might prove too much for Damn Knee. Six weeks ago, this would've been an easy goal to do. Let's see what happens.

Photo courtesy of Noelle Noodle.

But baby it's cold outside

2011-11-17T05:14:00.000-08:00

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Quote du jour: I was so cold the other day, I almost got married.
- Shelley Winters

Quiz du jour: Reader, I married him, a quiz about lines from well-known books in English literature. Some of them I could identify the book, some I could only identify the author. A couple, alas, I knew them not.

Exercise du jour: 4 miles walking, 15 minutes ellipticalling.
Sigh. Yes, again. Let's see if I can do the full stint this time, even though I hab a code and hab to sneeze before I can breed through my nodz. (Yes, having a cold does make me type like that. What? It doesn't affect your spelling?)

Done! With the help of drugs, so I won't qualify for any Olympic records (I'm sure Nyquil^TM is on the proscribed list), but it's done!

Every family has its own internal language

2011-11-16T05:15:00.000-08:00

Quote du jour:
Me: What's this potted plant?
Mother: Oh, Cathy gave me that. It's to replace that plant we had by the front door, the one that died when the weather got below freezing. I forget the name... something that begins with 'P'...
Me: Hibiscus?
Mother: That's the one.

Site du jour: In case you missed it, A Mouse in France wrote a series of posts on how to avoid getting computer viruses. And since she deals with that sort of thing for a living, this is straight from the horse's mouth, as it were. (From the mouse's mouth? Whatever.)

Exercise du jour: 4 miles walking, 15 minutes ellipticalling.
Sigh. Yes, again. This will become a habit eventually. I just wish I had a precise definition of what 'eventually' means in this case.
Done. Finally. Actually, not quite done. I skimped on the walking (2-1/2 miles), because my body decided that since everyone else was sniffling and sneezing, it should join in the fun. Slowest 15 minutes of ellipticalling ever, but I got up and did it anyway, so I'm putting the star up.

Oh, gift me a break

2011-11-15T05:34:00.000-08:00

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Quote du jour: I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
- Shirley Temple

Exercise du jour: 4 miles walking, 15 minutes ellipticalling. It shall be done.
It has been done. That 'just 15 minutes' thing still works.

"Oh good. You still work here."

2011-11-14T05:34:00.000-08:00

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Not the best way to start the day: "Oh good. You still work here."
- A co-worker, when I walked into the office one day last week. Turns out the company's been playing musical chairs, a.k.a. reorganizing.

Not the best way to end the day: That night I drove home by back roads, going 60 down dark, narrow roads that don't even had a shoulder if you need to pull over. I turned into the driveway, shut off the engine, and only then noticed clouds of steam rising up from under the hood. Half an hour later, the car was still steaming. Can't see any loose hoses, but there's a definite smell of antifreeze. Thankfully, I can get around without a car if I have to.

Goal for the week: I'm thinking that I might try working four 10-hour days this week. The manager told me that this was an option, and I'm wondering if it will work out better. I get more done when I can concentrate for long periods of time. Plus, I'm spending three friggin' hours a day commuting. Would be nice to only have to do that four days a week.

On the down side, doing this means that I will have less time to exercise during the week. Therefore, I have to take a walking lunch break. Also, I will have to make it an absolute rule to use the elliptical every night. That's going to be hard. I don't mean physically, but mentally. By the end of the day I'm usually worn out and want "me" time -- I want to relax, put my feet up, and be self-indulgent. The trick here is to try to persuade my inner slug that using the elliptical is a form of self-indulgence.

Exercise du jour: 4 miles walking, 15 minutes elliptical. Yes, I know it's the same goal as before. When it gets easy, I'll up the workout. (It's easy enough physically. The challenge here involves time and discipline.)
Done! Actually did 5 miles walking.

The Internet is making it harder for me to be a slacker

2011-11-13T16:46:00.001-08:00

Here I was, spending time on the Internet because it was too dark and cold and gloomy to get off my ever-increasing bottom and get on my bicycle for a short 4-mile ride. (But it's so dark! It's so cold! It's so glooooooomy!)

Then I had to go and read Lynne's blog about her ride from Eugene to Beaverton.* (For those of you from elsewhere, she rode 136 miles that day. For those of you from somewhere with a more sensible measuring system, that's 218 kilometers.)

Damn. It's much harder to look my conscience in the eye and tell it that I can't do my simple get-the-chores-done ride.

Done! 4 miles on a bike

*Sorry, Julie, but even though I'd love to stop in for a visit, it ain't gonna be by bike.

The magic of 15 minutes

2011-11-03T05:45:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour:It always seems impossible until it's done.
- Nelson Mandela

Thanks to the amazing MessyMimi, I now know that today is National Cliché day. And it is a cliché that you can do more than you think you can.

When I absolutely positively cannot in any way Get Up And Exercise... for some reason, I can almost always still manage to get on the elliptical for 15 minutes. Can't manage half an hour, 20 minutes is still too long. But just 15 minutes, well, the bar is set low enough that the weary brain can grasp the concept and see it as doable. As often as not, I find that once I'm going, I can go a little further.

Exercise du jour: Yes, another 4 miles walking, 15 minutes ellipticalling. (Merry, when are you going to change the routine? A - when it becomes easy.)
Done! I'm claiming the star even though I did 30 minutes ellipticalling and no minutes walking. I figure I deserve it on humanitarian grounds, for even though I had a rotten day and really wanted nothing more than to crawl into my home/cave at the end of the day, I got on the elliptical machine. Of course, I wouldn't have done it if you -- yes, you right there, don't look away -- hadn't had faith that I could do it. The guilt of letting you down, well, I was ready to get up there and go through the motions to placate that guilt. Then, once I was going through the motions, it was easy enough to put a good tune on the headphones and get some real exercise.
I think the formula is Friends + Guilt + iTunes = Workout.

Why You Should Exercise Every Day

2011-11-02T05:09:00.000-07:00

Hella long Quote du jour:

Researchers at the University of Massachusetts show
that, after just one day of not exercising, your body loses some
of its ability to respond to insulin (Metabolism: Clinical and
Experimental, July 2011). Inability to respond to insulin is the
cause of most cases of diabetes that has the potential to cause
premature death in one of every three North Americans.

HOW SUGAR DAMAGES CELLS: After you eat, blood sugar levels
rise. If they rise too high, sugar sticks to outer cell membranes
to destroy those cells. That's why diabetics suffer from damage
to every cell in their bodies, leading to blindness, deafness, dementia, heart attacks, strokes, impotence, and damage to nerves, kidneys or liver. To keep blood sugar levels from rising too high, your pancreas releases insulin which drives sugar from the bloodstream into cells. Exercising every day helps to keep sugar levels from rising too high.

HOW CONTRACTING MUSCLES CAN PREVENT DIABETES: Resting muscles cannot draw sugar from the bloodstream without receiving large amounts of insulin. However, contracting muscles can remove sugar from the bloodstream without using insulin. This effect is maximal during exercise and is gone completely after 17
hours.

ONE MISSED DAY OF EXERCISE: In the study from the University of Massachusetts, after just one day of sitting, people had higher blood sugar levels after a meal, decreased ability to respond to insulin, and higher insulin levels. The more food they ate on the day of not exercising, the higher their blood sugar levels, and the less their bodies responded to insulin. This study shows that just one day of not exercising increases a person's risk for the side effects of diabetes.

HOW TO EXERCISE EVERY DAY: Many people become injured when they try to exercise every day. The most likely cause is that they do not understand the hard-easy principle that every knowledgeable exerciser should learn. You take a more intense workout on one day. The next day, you can expect to feel sore. That is when you must put very little pressure on your muscles. That means to run, dance, skate, cycle very slowly or lift lightly until the soreness diminishes. Only then should you move faster and lift heavier. You can tell that you are headed for an injury if you feel soreness that is not symmetrical and it worsens with exercise. Stop because continuing discomfort with exercise is often a sign of impending injury.

- Dr. Mirkin

Okay, I have a plan. Yesterday started off pretty good, with me drinking like a fish. I drank about three liters of water in the morning, but I slacked off in the afternoon only to find Mr. Headache coming back for a visit.

So today, I'm hitting the bottle every hour from the moment I walk in the front door to the last-minute frantic dash for the exit at night. And I'm going to exercise.

4 miles. 15 minutes elliptically. It shall be done, damn it.
It has been done. 30 on the elliptical. And it was good. The drinking plan seems to be helping.

Back to the routine

2011-11-01T05:02:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy which sustained him through temporary periods of joy.
- Yeats (attrib.)

Why does a headache leave you feeling as drained as if you'd indulged in an orgy of debauchery? If I'd known I was going to have a hangover, I would've gone out on the town, damn it.

Oh well. Another day, another ~~dollar~~ ~~cliché~~ exercise goal.

Exercise du jour: 4 miles walking, 15 minutes elliptical.
Semi-win. Did 3 miles walking. Yes, the headache came back. I am nearly positive that it's caused by dehydration. The workplace humidity is kept unnaturally low, to make the products feel better. They do provide extra drinking water stations to make the people feel better, and a round-trip walk to the closest one is a 1/4 mile walk, so it's not too bad. So long as I remember to keep drinking. Slacked off this afternoon, and lo! The headache returned this evening like an old friend. The kind who owes you money and sits around on your couch drinking your beer and watching shows you hate.

What, I'm supposed to share all this candy with little kids whose mothers dress them funny?

2011-10-31T05:17:00.000-07:00

I mean, there's all this candy just lying around the house. How much sugar do little kids need, anyway?

And I've just gone 30 days without tasting anything sweet. Surely my stores of sugar, fat, and artificial ingredients are dangerously depleted.

Well, it won't hurt if I open the bag, just to air the chocolates a bit.

And maybe one leeetle bite won't hurt. Just to test that they're all right. For the sake of the children.

Oh dear. Maybe I'll turn out the lights and hide tonight.

Exercise du jour: Only 2 miles of walking today, and 15 minutes elliptical.

Update du 7:35 a.m.: Okay, so I was kidding about eating up all that chocolate. Last night, I actually ate one piece. Tasted okay. This morning, I woke up with a fierce headache. It's been coming and going for the last few days, so I don't think it was caused by the chocolate. But I don't think the chocolate helped either. Not sure if I'm going to get the exercising in after all.

Last day of the sweet-free challenge

2011-10-30T05:43:00.000-07:00

October gave a party;
The leaves by hundreds came -
The Chestnuts, Oaks, and Maples,
And leaves of every name.
The Sunshine spread a carpet,
And everything was grand,
Miss Weather led the dancing,
Professor Wind the band.
~George Cooper, "October's Party"

Last day of the 30 days of no-sweets. I managed to avoid eating any sweets, but there was that little tug toward the pastries whenever I went shopping. I realized that I eat a lot more sweets than I'd thought -- just in small quantities, but they do add up.

Doing this helped me eat more fruit. I used to combat the late afternoon slump with something chocolate -- now, I reach for an apple.

I did cheat a couple of times. I mean, if you're at a party celebrating something, it's hard to refuse a glass of champagne. Well, three times to be accurate, but I didn't count the last one. The glass of red wine tasted like cough syrup. (I did check the label, and it's a brand that I had enjoyed previously. Maybe it was a bad batch. Or maybe my tastebuds have modified themselves.)

Tomorrow, I'll try a little chocolate. Be interesting to see how it tastes.

Site du jour: I liked Amber Adrian's suggestions on how to reduce your level of cranky.

Exercise du jour: Raking. And more raking. One of the drawbacks of having six mature shade trees (twice the height of my house) in the backyard. Maybe I'll try to picture all those leaves as money. Then I'll be raking it in.

Photo of a copper beech in Belgium courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Heading toward Progress

2011-10-27T05:03:00.000-07:00

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Quote du jour: When you are old and gray and full of sleep, and nodding by the fire, take down this book and slowly read, and dream of the soft look your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep.
- Yeats

I'm feeling old and gray and full of sleep this morning... if I sat down by the fire I wouldn't be reading, that's for sure. I think this week has been better. Managed to get some kind of exercise in every day, even if I'm falling down on the eating healthy veggie stuff from home part. I'll work on that next week. Progress is being made.

Yesterday I managed to drive to work with hardly a wrong turn at all. (This is along very convoluted back roads rather than the congested freeway.) At one point, I came to an intersection. The road sign told me that I had to choose between taking a right and heading to Newberg or turning left toward Progress. I chose to head toward Progress.

Site du jour: Suldog has a good post on incarnation. "...putting great wealth into your hands would be akin to granting a meteor the ability to tap dance."

Exercise du jour: I am going to fit in the 4 miles of exercise and 15 minutes elliptical. That's not too much to ask. I can do that.

Oh, hell no.

2011-10-26T05:44:00.000-07:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

This company I'm now at has a morning culture. Not all businesses do.

My last company, like many start ups, had a late-night culture. People would straggle in at 9, or 10(ish) and stay until 7 or 8.

This place, after 4:15, is a desert. After 5, it gets creepy. So I started getting there at 7:30, and all was good. There were people there, people I needed to check in with, and I got to leave before 5:00.

Then, they sez, "Well, you clearly like to get here early. Why not come to the 7:30 meeting that deals with your project?"

[FYI: If you don't have this kind of culture, know that it is common for companies to stage meetings at times like this when they're trying to coordinate with teams on PST (Pacific Standard Time), EST (Eastern Standard Time), and Bangalore time, which is 12 hours off of (ahead? behind? whatever) PST time.]

The last company I worked at, I attended a similar meeting. After Daylight Savings kicked in, I ended up having to go to a meeting at 5 in the friggin' a.m. Me, of all people. Luckily, I could log in from home before. This time, I'm a lowly peon and must come into the office if I want to access my computer.

So far, I've been making it into work in time for the 7:30 meeting. (Which involves my heading out the door at 5:30 a.m., not that I'm ~~complaining~~ bemoaning my fate more than any non-morning person.) I've been making it.

Then today, they sez to me, they sez: "Hey, instead of the 7:30 a.m. meeting, why not come to the one on Thursday instead? Much more useful for this project."

"Okay," says I. "When does this one meet?"

And they tells me, "6:00 a.m."

Exercise du jour: Still going to try for 4 miles walking, 15 minutes ellipticalling.
Done. Well, good enough to warrant a star. Walked not a step, but did 30 minutes ellipticalling. Plus, I got an okay to phone in to the 6 a.m. meeting instead of getting up at 4 to try to get there, which methinks deserves a damned star just on its own.

Those who fail to plan, plan to make up for it with a mad dash first thing in the morning

2011-10-25T05:15:00.000-07:00

Which results in totally skimpy blog posts.

Quote du jour:
A broad margin of leisure is as beautiful in a man's life as in a book. Haste makes waste, no less in life than in housekeeping. Keep the time, observe the hours of the universe, not of the cars.
- Henry David Thoreau

There are times when I wonder about Henry David. Did he ever have to haul himself out of bed to catch a Max train that wouldn't wait? I think not.

Exercise du jour: Me + 4 miles walking + 15 minutes ellipticaling = 1 gold star

Done! Finally. Took a lot of guilt to get on that damn elliptical tonight.

The World of NIM

2011-10-24T05:22:00.000-07:00

see more dog and puppy pictures

NIM^TM (New Improved Merry) is a person who:

Leaves the house at 5 I'm-not-kidding-move-it-woman 30 in the morning

Every day Monday through Friday

Is ~~bright, cheerful, energetic and a good worker~~ good at faking the right things, given sufficient coffee

Is determined to get into a positive rut re: exercising

The trouble with this new job is that while it is infinitely cheaper to take public transport, the train stops running at a fairly early hour. (It only runs during rush hour, which is not the same thing as Merry Transport Time.) So I can either haul myself out of bed at an early hour or take the evil SUV, spending much gas and taking almost as much time to get to work.

I am not, by nature, one of those people blessed with an early morning mindset. I think mornings are something best enjoyed from a warm, cozy bed. Given my druthers, I would crawl out of bed by 9 o'clock. Or 10, at least. 11 o'clock, definitely.

Okay, okay, I've done with the whining. No doubt re-inventing myself will prove an interesting and worthwhile experience. Maybe. It's possible, anyway.

Exercise du jour: Okay, I will try this again. Didn't always managed to do both 15 measly minutes on the elliptical and 4 miles of walking. Maybe it'll be easier this week. Maybe I'm getting used to this new schedule. Only one way to find out.

Done! Well, close enough. Only 3.5 miles of walking, but I made up for it with 30 minutes ellipticalling. According to Theresa's formula, that should work. And she's a doctor and everything, so even if she can't take my temperature she should at least be able to do complicated Ph.D-ish computations.

I'm not the only one who's glad it's Friday

2011-10-21T07:23:00.000-07:00

Why yes, I am Happy It's Friday!

Quote du jour: People are surprised at how down-to-earth I am. I like to stay home on Friday nights and listen to 'The Art of Happiness' by the Dalai Lama.
- Carmen Electra

Exercise du jour: Closing out the week with one more round of 4 miles walking, 15 minutes ellipticalling. I will do it, damn it.
I'm giving myself the gold star, even though I only did 1-1/2 miles of walking and 30 minutes on the elliptical. I'm doing this because even though I really wanted to give up and go to bed, I got up and worked out instead. That's your fault, of course, so you should really get the credit. If I hadn't known that you -- yes, I do mean you right there reading this -- were trusting me to get this done, I would have bailed. Thank you.

George courtesy of Nicogenin.

Almost there

2011-10-20T04:38:00.000-07:00

A stone, a leaf, an unfound door; of a stone, a leaf, a door. And of all the forgotten faces. Naked and alone we came into exile. In her dark womb we did not know our mother's face; from the prison of her flesh we come into the unspeakable and incommunicable prison of this earth. Which of us has known his brother? Which of us has looked into his father's heart? Which of us has not remained forever prison-pent? Which of us is not forever a stranger and alone? O waste of loss, in the hot mazes, lost, among bright stars on this most weary unbright cinder, lost! Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When? O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again.
- Thomas Wolfe, Look Homeward, Angel

Two days to the weekend. I think I can make it.

Exercise du jour: 4 miles walking, 15 minutes elliptical. Again. And again. 'Til it becomes a habit.
Done. 4 miles walking, 20 minutes elliptical. Clinging on to the routine. I'm getting there.

Photo courtesy of lovestruck.

It was the Lone Ranger, not the Lonely Ranger

2011-10-19T05:43:00.000-07:00

Sadly, there are stretches of I-5 where you can only get one radio station. Why is it always a lousy one?

On my last road trip from California to Oregon, I ended up listening to a supposed 'relationship expert' from a supposedly 'Christian' station saying that people who aren't in a relationship grew up in problem families where they never learned to bond properly with others. Huh. All seven of my siblings are either married or planning to be shortly, and I distinctly recall growing up in the same family that they did.

Site du jour: The Coffee Helps blog had a good post about how sometimes people live alone because they need more alone time than most people.

Exercise du jour: 2 miles walk, 15 minutes elliptical
Yeah, yeah, I know. Same old. What can I say. I'm trying to get into a rut.

Semi-done. I mean, I got in a little over 5 miles of walking, but I'm giving up on the elliptical. Too damn tired. Tomorrow. Same blog, probably the same time. Damn it.

I love looking at leaves I don't have to rake

2011-10-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

(Alas, these are leaves I do have to rake)

Quote du jour: How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.
- John Burroughs

Video clip du jour: There's a website hosting a Dance Your Dissertation contest. No, it's not for people getting a Ph.D in Interpretive Dance. It's for people in the sciences. No wonder it's so hard for people to finish a Ph.D if they know they're going to be critiqued for the ability to do the Rumba while defending their research. Oi.

This is last year's winner. Maureen McKeague did an interpretive dance on "Selection of a DNA aptamer for homocysteine using Systematic Evolution of Ligands by Exponential Enrichment."

Y'know, if people are creative enough to think up things like that, I should be able to figure out how to organize my life.

I've more than doubled my commute, spending more than 2 hours a day commuting. I know that's not a big deal to some people, but it's causing me to have to re-figure my day. I don't have time to spare if I want to exercise and eat and sleep as well as that work stuff.

While I can't... yet... cycle to work (it's 30 miles one way), I can save much money by taking the local light rail. And the second half of the train trip actually has free WiFi, which is totally awesome. I love the idea of checking my mail, getting in touch with people, while whizzing through the countryside.

If I play this right, I will be able to organize my time so that I can get a lot of dull-but-necessary stuff done during the commute. Maybe. And if I can force myself to get up from my desk and walk at lunch, that could work too.

Originally I'd planned to walk from the train to work, which would add three miles to my daily commute. But I'm rethinking that idea, at least for now. It would involve walking along busy streets in the dark. No sidewalk, few streetlights, sharing the shoulder with bicyclists. I might hold off on that. There is a shuttle that takes me from the train to within ten feet of my building's front door. Hard to argue with that. Plus, I get to admire the beautiful fall countryside on my way to work.

Site du jour: Speaking of beautiful fall countryside, I love the pictures on True Calling's blog.

Exercise du jour: Again, I'm going to go for the 15 minutes ellipticalling, and a 2 mile walk at lunch. No interpretive dance for me.
Done. Barely. There's something about just having to do 15 minutes that works for me... much easier to face than 20 minutes of exercise.

How to sneak exercise into your work day

2011-10-17T08:24:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to psyche myself into finding ways to exercise more during the day.

Exercising on the sly can make you feel guilty. Adopt the mindset that you are entitled to exercise. Make entitlement work for you. Often I tend to think I have to be at my desk for 8 hours straight or I won't get things done. Wrong. A quick break wakes me up so that I am more effective, get more done.
Be on the lookout for low-hanging fruit on the exercise tree, such as drinking so much tea that you have to walk to the bathroom frequently. It doesn't matter what gets you up and moving -- anything that gets you up and away from the desk is a good thing.
Get a job in a place where moving is built into the routine. Seriously, it's a quarter-mile walk at this place just to get a cup of coffee in the morning. I figure that will add up.
Sneak in a walk. According to a map, if I walk the hallways, following the perimeter of the building on the inside, the distance is about 3/4 of a mile. If I happen to take such a walk while carrying a notepad or folder, then it will look like I'm on my way to a meeting or something, right? And therefore it really wouldn't look like I was doing something frivolous like getting exercise during the work day.

None of these are going to get the heart beating fast enough to count as cardio exercise, but I do believe they will help. There have been enough studies to convince me that even incidental exercise, just keeping moving through the day, helps to keep people fit.

I wish that this work place had stairs. That was the perfect way to get the heart rate up. As it is, I will have to plan some cardio in the day as well. Meager as it sounds, I'm going to plan for the following this week:

15 measly minutes on the elliptical in the morning
2 walks (1/2 mile) to and from the train, morning and evening
2 walks (3/4 mile) each at morning and afternoon breaks
1 walk (2 miles) at lunch

4 miles of easy walking and 15 minutes of ellipticalling. I'll try that for the week and see how it goes.

Done! Well, technically it's a semi-fail, since I only managed 2.4 miles of walking. But to make up for it, I did 30 minutes on the elliptical. I told myself that I only had to do 15 minutes on the elliptical. Then once I started, I was able to spin it out to 30. To my mind, that qualifies the star.

Site du jour: Cranky Fitness has some good ideas on how to sneak exercise into your day. I might be biased, since the inestimable Crabby McSlacker let me post there sometimes, but I think it's a great site.

Cartoon courtesy of brainpop_uk.

Does salty language come from your diet?

2011-10-15T08:31:00.000-07:00

15 days into the 30-days of no sweets. It's actually going pretty well.

At the start, I was surprised. I would not have thought that I had a big sweet tooth, but out shopping I would find myself thinking it would be nice to pick up something chocolately or pastry-like. Just a niggling little impulse tugging me toward the sweets. I didn't act on it, but if I hadn't started this I never would have realized that I do eat more sweets than I thought.

I have noticed that I'm finding ways to sweeten the diet. The other day, I baked chicken with onions that I had sautéed until they were sweet. On impulse, I chopped up an apple and threw that into the mix as well. Came out quite nice, I thought. I don't think I would have eaten as much of it if not for the sweet bits.

Study du jour: Apparently, people who have a sweet tooth also have a sweet personality. I'm not sure I agree with the way they conducted the study, but I like the conclusion. Does this mean someone with a sour personality eats lots of pickles?

Exercise du jour: 1 hour on the elliptical.
Done!

Photo courtesy of Mykal Shaw.

Dashing... very dashing indeed

2011-10-14T06:42:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
- Doug Larson

Where the frack did the week go?

Oh, right. At work.

I've been putting in a little extra time trying to come up to speed on this insanely convoluted workflow. It's all good. Or it will be all good. I think. No one else is asking me to push myself; I want to do it. I won't feel at ease until I'm able to sink my teeth into the job and rip it to shreds.

That metaphor really doesn't work. Makes me feel like I'm supposed to masticate, which is a nasty word. I mean just the way the word sounds is nasty.

I'm tired. That makes me ramble more than usual, which is saying something. Still, walked two miles yesterday, thanks to Crabby's timely comment. Plus, I've discovered the company website has walking maps. They've even got a map for walking inside. If I went around the inside perimeter of the building, it would be almost 3/4 of a mile. That might come in handy when it's absolutely stinking rotten outside in the winter. (The building doesn't have any stairs, alas.)

Best Moment in Science du jour: Best abstract ever. (From the Annals of Improbable Research.)

Exercise du jour: I have to be home early today to let in contractors. (Hence all the insane work hours to make up the time ahead of time, if that makes any sense.) So no lunch walks. I am going to find time to fit in the elliptical. Somehow. I promise.
Done! Go figure. I sit at a desk for hours at a time, and I can just *feel* the knee swelling up. But half an hour on the elliptical? If knees were kittens, this one would be purring. Very strange.

Photo courtesy of Eva Rinaldi Live Music.

What, again? I exercised Yesterday, damn it!

2011-10-11T06:41:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: I seated ugliness on my knee, and almost immediately grew tired of it.
- Salvador Dali

Well fine. If I have to exercise again, then I suppose I will get it done.
Self-pitying sigh

Really, I will remember how to be an Employed Person again soon. In the meantime, I'll use guilt to get me moving.

Exercise du jour: Again, another two friggin' miles of walking. This is setting the bar so low that it is pitiable. At the same time, it's setting the bar so low that I don't have any face-saving way to avoid exercising. What I'm after right now is, like a nun, getting back into the habit.

done?it's hard enough typing On an ip ad (sic), don't expect a gold star. I done the walk.

Okay, maybe it was just a crazy idea

2011-10-10T05:41:00.000-07:00

My knee is as strong as it was before, if not stronger, and it's a matter of getting my leg strong. I lost six years of strength in about six month's time, so it's going to take another year or two to get that leg back up to full strength, but I'm good to go so far.
Picabo Street

One of my faults is that I am so easily distracted by bright shiny things. Did almost no exercise last week. Other things took priority. My mindset went totally into Work Mode Only. I know it's possible to combine work and exercise. I've done it before. Can't remember how, but I know I did it. Just couldn't seem to get the balance this week.

Okay, inner slug, I'll give you the first week of work is crazy.
Enough of that.

In my defense, I really did the good girl thing re making a healthy lunch, full of vegetables and good calories, and taking it to work each day. Didn't help much, since people kept saying 'let's go out to lunch' each day. (I mean, you can't say 'no' to that sort of thing. You really can't, especially in the first week. But damn I am sick of Chinese food now.)

Another weird thing to note is that Damn Knee has gotten more cranky this week rather than less. All that complaining it was doing about doing more than an hour on the elliptical? It complains even more if I don't exercise. It's not as consistently loud complaining -- it more takes the form of suddenly it's painful to get up from a chair. Not always, sometimes it's fine. But sometimes -- ouch. I think I need to strengthen the muscles around the knee more.

Yes, I am babbling. Tangent woman needs to focus. I am setting the bar low so that I can get back into the habit of exercise.

Exercise du jour: Okay, inner slug, here's the deal. All you have to do is walk two miles. Given that one of those miles is covered by walking to/from the Max, that means all the exercise you have to go out and achieve is One - Friggin' - Mile. That's all you need to do today.
Done! Walked at lunch. A bit. But hey, I set a goal and I made it. Maybe this will become a habit.

It's a crazy idea... but it might just work

2011-10-07T05:04:00.000-07:00

Narrated by Steve Jobs

Quote du jour:

Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while. That’s because they were able to connect experiences they’ve had and synthesize new things. And the reason they were able to do that was that they’ve had more experiences or they have thought more about their experiences than other people. Unfortunately, that’s too rare a commodity. A lot of people in our industry haven’t had very diverse experiences. So they don’t have enough dots to connect, and they end up with very linear solutions without a broad perspective on the problem. The broader one’s understanding of the human experience, the better design we will have.
- Steve Jobs in Wired, February 1996

Me: I'd like a rich husband, a new car, and a roast chicken.
Woman behind the Deli counter: I can get you one out of three.

Was it the new car?
Did she find me a rich husband?
Nooooooooo.
Sheesh. Service, these days.

Okay, this is the end of the first crazy week at work.
It's Friday.
Therefore, I have Friday night and then two whole days wherein I might slip some exercising.
It might just work.

It's a trend. I'm going to start it today.

Exercise du jour: Me. Elliptical. 45 minutes. It Will Happen. I don't care if I have to put up a gold star at 11:58:58 pm, I will make this goal. I have spoken. (And indeed, typed.)

Watch this space for a genuine (if virtual) gold star.

So I haven't written much lately. Neither has Shakespeare.

2011-10-06T19:42:00.001-07:00

What can I say. I'm a working girl. Though not at Kmart.

Normal posting will hopefully resume shortly. Or as normal as I get, anyway.

Walked a couple miles the past couple of days, to and from the commute train. Aside from that, I got nothing. Except that I'm still being good re the no sweets for 30 days stuff.

Supposed Kmart employee courtesy of Wilgar.

Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho ho's!

2011-10-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

Me (to salesgirl): I love that you're selling Halloween stuff before Halloween instead of Christmas stuff!
Salesgirl: Thank you. Um... by the way, you don't want to look two aisles over.

Survived first day of work.

Good: Showed up before I was supposed to.
Bad: The rain turned my carefully achieved sleek & chic hairstyle into a frizz & 'fro style instead.
Worse: I showed up and discovered that I was going to be using a new software application that I've never touched in my life.

That last threw me a bit. I've double-checked, and nowhere is it mentioned in the job requirements when I originally applied. It certainly wasn't mentioned in the job interview. And yet, the other new tech writer who showed up today had heard about it. Well fine. BE that way. I'll just have to scramble, that's all. No doubt it's good exercise.

On the plus side, despite the highly caloric and tasty-smelling food in the on-site café, I did not touch sugar. Well, except for the odd tic-tac, but I've decided that does not count. I merely said "hi" to the other stuff.

Exercise du jour: A measly, crummy, lousy 20 minutes on the elliptical. Is work a good excuse for skipping exercise? I think not. Must try harder. After I get some sleep.

It's the perfect 30 day challenge for October

2011-10-01T08:57:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: Patience is bitter, but it bears sweet fruit.
- Turkish proverb

Paradox du jour: I don't like 30 day challenges, I don't want to make them a habit, but even so I'm going to do another one. Why? Well, it worked last time. Today I got up and did 30 minutes on the elliptical before coffee -- I felt like an underachiever. I've gotten into the habit of exercising longer than that.

I like even numbers and clearly definable finish lines, so I generally don't do a challenge in October anyway. However, this one is too perfect. Therefore, I herewith state, swear, and affirm that I do hereby proclaim yadayada that I intend to have no sugar pass my lips for the next 30 days. Unless I come up with a way to mainline sugar, it's out of the game.

About the only thing I like about challenges like this one is the freedom to make up my own rules. Last month, I considered it fair to count simply moving for one hour as exercise, even if I didn't work up a sweat. (Though only one of the three hours of daily exercise could be allotted to just moving; the other two I had to sweat... does this make sense to you? Sounds much more complicated when I try to explain it.)

Anyway, the rules for the no sugar for 30 days challenge:

No chocolate, no candy, no Twinkies, pies, cakes, puddings, you get the idea
No champagne or other wine
No fruit juice or sodas
No dried fruit

I'll probably add to the list as I go along. Basically, nothing with added sugar in it. If I want something sweet, I will eat fruit. For the next 30 days, that is. On the 31st day, however...

Exercise du jour:
I really like the idea of exercising 3 times a day, even though Damn Knee won't put up with my doing 3 hours on the elliptical.

Morning: 1/2 hour elliptical
Done!

Noon: 1-1/2 hours gardening
Fail. On the other hand, I went shopping and walked past a lot of candy. It was harder than I had expected. Maybe I shouldn't have started this challenge the week before I start my cycle.
Night: 1/2 hour stretching, gentle walking
Done!

10/2
Noon - 1 hour elliptical
9 pm - 1 hour elliptical
Done!

Halloween candy courtesy of Ana_Fuji.

Ending the month on a good note

2011-09-30T09:19:00.000-07:00

Good: This is the last day of my goal of doing 3 hours of daily exercise for 30 days.

Better: This is the last work day wherein I will be able to collect an unemployment check, since I start a new job on Monday.

Best: My shower still works!

Hey, don't knock it. You try going for months without a working shower. It really affects the mood. Okay, yes, I am happy/nervous about the new job, too.

Summary du 30 day push: The first two weeks were good. After I wrote a status post summarizing the good stuff I did, things went down hill. In short, I got distracted by all the hoops I had to jump through to get my new job (for example, I had to read 45 pages of paperwork and fill out, sign, and send back 20 pages) and all the things (chores, road trips, etc.) that I needed to get done before becoming a wage slave again. Still managed to get some exercise in, but not nearly as much as I hoped.

If my math skills are functioning, by the end of today I will have done a total of 66 hours of exercise this month. That's only two-thirds of the exercise I'd planned (90). Even so, if I hadn't aimed that high I would not have worked out nearly so much. So I'm tossing the calculator out the window and calling this a win.

Video clip du jour: This cracked me up. If you've ever seen A Game of Thrones (or read the books) then you'll know that whatever else the story is, it is not a comedy. And yet, a selection of carefully edited clips and a smooth-voiced announcer can make it sound like hilarity ensues.

Exercise du jour: 1 hour elliptical
Did 45 minutes before the hole-in-the-wall contractor showed up. Damn Knee is complaining again. Methinks it's time to be flexible and try something else for the rest of today's stint.
Done! After the contractor left for a while.

1 hour gardening
Done! After the wasp-killing contractor left.

1 hour gentle walking, stretching
Done! Finally. At 9:49 p.m., but who's counting. It's done. Fini. So long and thanks for all the exercise. That kind of thing. Feels very good to be done.

Photo courtesy of ravenU.

Penultimate day of the 30 day push

2011-09-29T09:15:00.000-07:00

Masks have real social value in that they allow you privacy and space in an often brutal world. But there is a price you pay for wearing a mask. Masks cause little deaths -- little soul deaths. When you wear a mask, nobody (not even you) gets to find out what you really need. And when you wear a mask, nobody (not even you) gets to find out what you really have to offer.
- Gordon MacKenzie, Orbiting the Giant Hairball: a corporate fool's guide to surviving with grace

The quote/picture aren't relevant to the blog post; I just thought them interesting.

Penultimate day of the 30 day push. I haven't always made the goal of 3 hours of exercise each day, but just by aiming for that goal I have managed almost always to get at least 1-1/2 to 2 hours a day. This was a good goal. I don't think I will try to continue with that level once I become gainfully employed again, but I will probably be able to do at least 1-1/2 hours of daily exercise. I'll aim for 2.

This must be a bit like what life is like for celebrities or people who go on The Biggest Loser. Being able to focus my attention and my time on exercise, being able to concentrate on just that goal. I know that once I start work again, I'll get caught up in doing the job. The hours I spend exercising will be spent doing nothing more than sitting in a car or on the Max. So in a way, being out of work is useful. If only I were one of the "idle" rich, I could get so much done!

Okay, whine done. Still waiting on Mr. Hopeful to come fix the hole in the wall. He came by yesterday, told me what he could do, how much it would cost, when he could start. All straightforward and positive, except that he warned me that he'd have to take his wife to rehab sometime today. (No, not that kind of rehab.) And so I sit waiting for him to call, so I will know when he can come by.

This probably means I'll have to do something Useful Around the House. Like cleaning it. Damn.

Luckily, this also means that I'll have time to get in exercise. Probably mostly ellipticalling. Some gardening, if the wasps don't mind. It's the time of year to plant tulips and other bulbs. I figure planting something now in the hopes that I will still be here in the spring to see them come up is an act of faith. The old woman who used to live here planted loads of bulbs; even though she's no longer around to enjoy them, maybe she's somewhere that she knows they're being appreciated.

Exercise du jour:
Morning - 1 hour elliptical
Done! And after I was finished, I -- wait for it-- took a shower! In my own bathroom! I feel so proud.

Noon - 1 hour ~~gardening~~ elliptical

Done! Had to fit it in around the workmen coming and going.

Night - 1 hour elliptical
half-done. I'm still putting up the star because the reason I stopped is that Damn Knee started to hurt. It's been at least three weeks since Damn Knee complained about an hour's worth of ellipticalling while it was in progress. Improvement.

Photo courtesy of iwinatcookie.

A man, a plan, a ... chainsaw?

2011-09-28T08:01:00.000-07:00

Good: The plumber fixed my shower.
Bad: To do so, he had to take a chainsaw to my wall.
Ugly: I've got a hole in the wall that's over five feet tall.

I even took a picture, not that that does much good since I can't find the widget to connect the camera to the computer so I can upload the pic. You'll have to use your imagination. Think the innards of a house exposed. Think two-by-fours. Think fiberglass on the carpet instead of in the wall keeping it nice and warm. That sort of thing.

Am I unrealistic to have expected the plumber to fix the hole before he left? I mean, after all, he did create it in the first place. Didn't his mother teach him to clean up after himself?

Yes, I know I'm being unfair. He was perfectly nice. I have a shower. I shouldn't complain. Much.

Hopefully, a man is going to come by to look at the hole and see what needs to be done. Apparently the edges are only partly sheet rock. The older part of the wall, that wasn't renovated by the flippers, is lath and plaster. Should be fun.

I say "hopefully" because he was actually supposed to come by yesterday at 5 pm. At 8 pm he called to say he couldn't make it and could we reschedule? So I'm taking everything he says with a grain of salt, if not a shot of tequila.

Exercise: I tried to do an hour this morning on the elliptical; only managed 1/2 hour so far. Will get back to it after (if) Mr. Hopeful shows up.

Done! 1 hour ellipticalling

Then I'm scheduling 1 hour gardening,
Done! 1 hour gardening

and an evening hour of ellipticalling.
Fail. Ran out of day before I ran out of To Do list.

I can't do any exercise DVDs at the moment, since I had to take out everything from the office and leave it in boxes all over the living room. Feeble excuse, I know.

Arrrrrrrch

2011-09-27T10:11:00.000-07:00

I hate the iPad's autocorrect feature.

Damn thing doesn't want me to write "Argh" for any reason. Keeps being Helpful and changing it to "Arch."

I don't want to express being "playfully or affectedly roguish or mischievous" -- I am trying to express frustration. The iPad is thwarting me, thus increasing the very quality I am trying to express.

Arch.
Arch.
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrch!

For some reason, my sleep patterns are screwed beyond comprehension. Went to sleep at 2 (in the a.m.), wide awake at 4 (still in the a.m.). Finally got to sleep at 6 and slept until noon. Arch.

Exercise du jour: A late start, but I'm going for the three hours anyway.
1 hour ~~elliptical~~ gardening

1 hour more gardening

1 hour elliptical
Done! Feels good to do something cardio-related again. (Gardening is exercise; it does burn calories; it does look a lot better when you're done. But for raising a sweat, give me that elliptical ever time. And an ice pack afterward, of course.)

Oh, like you've never googled Diet Peanut Brittle?

2011-09-26T06:56:00.000-07:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

Quote du jour: The trouble with living alone is that it's always your turn to do the dishes.
- Anon

Only 4 more days of the 30 day push. I can do this. No need to reach for the highly sugary motivational eats. Willpower, baby.

Only 2 more hours (estimate) of cleaning before I can let the plumbers in to make things messy. I can do this, too. Or so I think.

Site du jour: Cranky Fitness has a great post on getting motivated to work out. I think it was written with regular exercise in mind, but maybe it'll work for lifting and moving boxes as well.

Exercise du jour: Presuming I get all the box moving done in 2 hours, I'll put in the third hour on the elliptical.

Update du 1:34 pm: On the plus side, I managed to get in three hours of cleaning, since the plumber was late. On the down side, there is now a man in my office with a chainsaw, which he is using to cut two-by-fours that are inside my wall. The two-by-fours that are kinda sorta supporting the bath/shower. Hope this doesn't mean I'll have to deal with Falling Bathtub Syndrome.

What I could really use is some kind of mental viagra

2011-09-25T12:56:00.002-07:00

Quote du jour: In this world no one rules by love; if you are but amiable, you are no hero. To be powerful, you must be strong, and to have dominion you must have a genius for organizing.
- John Henry Newman

What? I only said I wanted mental viagra.

Oh come on. Don't look at me like that.

I'm in the last stretch of the 30 days of 3-hours-a-day exercise, and I could just use a little something to help me keep up, as it were, with the exercising.

The good thing is that aiming for 3 hours means that I usually manage at least 1-1/2 hours, usually more. Considering that I've been spending the past week running around like a head with its chicken cut off, that's pretty good. But I'm still bummed that I'm not perfect.

Are you perfect? Is anyone perfect? (Except of course for some of my brothers as seen from the perspective of my mother, but I don't really think that counts for the purposes of this discussion.)

Yesterday, 1 measly hour on the elliptical.
Friday, 2 40-minute sets, cycling and walking. It was hot. Much ~~swearing~~ sweating ensued.

Exercise du jour: I can't put it off any longer. I have to clean out the office so the plumbers can break the wall so that they can replace a valve in the shower so that I can take a shower. This probably means that I'm going to have to clean the bathroom as well. Since this means I'm going to be doing a lot of lifting and moving, I do think it counts as exercise. Somebody cover me; I'm goin' in.

Doesn't seem like the kind of thing to give a gold star for, but I did three hours of moving stuff from point A to point B. Not sure I'd call it organizing either. But I'm done for the night.

A week of weird and whacky whys & wherefores

2011-09-23T09:46:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour:
Oh, do not ask 'what is it?'
Let us go and make our visit.
- T.S. Eliot

Things I have broken this week:
1 laptop
1 treadmill
1 Mustang with only 10,000 miles on it

Number of miles driven in the Mustang before it freaked out:
1302

Number of miles crawled in after the Mustang got fussy:
2.76 (at 10 miles an hour)

Number of mothers who forgot to call the doctor back and tell him that she felt better, thus causing the police to come by to check on her while I was in the pool: 1

Number of cups of spinach said mother insisted I should eat during my visit: 13

Number of pounds lost: 3

Hmmn... maybe that balances things out.

Exercise du jour: cycling, walking, ellipticalling. Spent 11 hours sitting in the car yesterday, so I have some work to do today.

Magnificently attitudinal beast (and actor) courtesy of Edison618.

Obstacles, shmobstacles

2011-09-20T08:06:00.000-07:00

Random thoughts:

Two days of only 40min exercise sessions, not great Today, starting again.
Off to visit a treadmill for an hour, or at least until my knee falls off.
Done! Broke the treadmill.
Swam half an hour. Until the police came by.
Maybe I should take a walk.

I loathe typing one-fingered. iPads are not ideal for blogs.

Saw a greeting card that read "I'm much more interesting on my blog." No with an iPad, I'm not.

okay, 9/20:only 2 hours exercise. Broken treadmill, police visit, flimsy excuses. My bad.
9/21 walked 40 on the treadmill, 150 on the sidewalk.
9/22 drove 11 hours in a frickin' almost new damn it Mustang with a funky transmission that semi- gave out two miles from home. Clearly, this is NOT my week to buy a Lotto ticket. Plus, no exercise today.

Arghhhhhh

2011-09-17T09:44:00.000-07:00

Dead laptop. Hopefully just the battery. Typing with one finger is annoying.

Did one hour elliptical. Not much of a workout if you keep stopping every five minutes to argue with yourself about quitting.

Goal: 3 hours exercise. One down.
Two hours down. Getting there.
Done. Or at least I am saying good enough. Did fifty minutes before saying @&$)!

Why didn't someone tell me it was Friday?

2011-09-16T15:04:00.000-07:00

Ack! I sat down this morning to fill out paperwork and jump through hoops. I decided to put off the exercising for an hour or so. Now I just looked up and noticed that it's 2 in the afternoon. Why didn't someone think to mention this?

I'm not sure how I'm going to fit three hours of exercise in, unless I do something creative and do it quick.

Exercise du jour: Oh hell. I'm going to go out and garden for a while. More anon. I'm gonna get a star up here or else.

Photo courtesy of Ravenu.

Halfway through the 30-day push

2011-09-15T08:09:00.000-07:00

Quote du Jour:
As a real person, he wouldn't last a minute, would he? But drama is about imperfection. And we've moved away from the aspirational hero. We got tired of it, it was dull. If I was House's friend, I would hate it. How he so resolutely refuses to be happy or take the kind-hearted road. But we don't always like morally good people, do we?
- Hugh Laurie

That quote isn't especially relevant to anything. I just liked it.

I'm still pushing through on this 30-days of 3-hours-a-day exercise, even though I'm dead tired from lack of sleep. I'm halfway through now. I haven't noticed much weight loss -- a few pounds, but my weight fluctuates so much that's negligible.

What I have noticed is a change in the way the body feels. This may sound like an odd statement for a sedentary, overweight, middle-aged female to make, but I'm starting to feel like an athlete. It feels good to move, to use my muscles. I feel like I'm getting stronger. I can bend Damn Knee back almost as far as Good Knee now, and it's no longer buckling under me at odd moments. (Hope I didn't just jinx something by typing that.) I'm starting to feel like I enjoy exercise again. Not the getting up out of bed to exercise part, nor the getting started part of exercise, but the actually pushing of the body to go a little farther each time part. Damn Knee isn't quite up to the point of doing something that involves impact, such as running; I can't use the elliptical without following up with the ice pack and ibuprofen. Even so, the exercise that I am doing feels good. Satisfying.

P.S. Not that I'm becoming ~~one of them Math people or anything~~ hung up on numbers (much), but as of today I will have done over 40 hours of exercise this month. Unless my mad Math skillz are leading me astray, that's one friggin' work week's worth of exercise. Me. Hard to believe. (Now, if only I could figure out a way to get paid for this...)

Exercise du jour: I'm falling into a pattern of alternating one day of mostly using the elliptical, the next mostly doing core muscle DVDs. What I should be doing is including more gardening, but for some reason that seems a lot more work than the other two. Probably that's why I should be doing it. Even after all this working out, the inner slug is still trying to call the shots.

Morning: Elliptical
Done.

Noon: ~~Elliptical~~ Walking, gently
Done. Turns out that I kinda sorta pulled a muscle in my hip during last night's core rhythm DVD. That's always the problem -- you start feeling good, you go a little further, then you find out that you went a bit too far. Exercise is educational, at least.

Night: Gardening, damn it.
Done! Well, the 'damn it' part, anyway. The omens look good toward the prospect of my getting another job. Which concept has thrust me into a) the heights of exultation b) the depths of despair and c)the middle ground of "oh, well, it could work out okay."

Binary Gods and stray comets

2011-09-14T08:41:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour, from the I Hope He's Kidding department:
Since when has the world of computer software design been about what people want? This is a simple question of evolution. The day is quickly coming when every knee will bow down to a silicon fist, and you will all beg your binary gods for mercy.
- Bill Gates

The Toastmasters thing went okay. It wasn't a typical meeting. They were holding a contest where people had to get up and make impromptu speeches and get judged on their performance. I didn't see any evidence of ritual human sacrifice; everyone looked ordinary and friendly. Could all be an act, I suppose. I'll need to attend a meeting during ordinary time to make sure.

It was odd, but I felt nervous for the people who'd been put on the spot to get up and give speeches, even though they'd volunteered to do it. The idea of doing this myself feels like trying bungee jumping when I'm not too sure about the bungee cord.

Another interview today. This time, I'm going to leave extra extra early, in case of traffic/earthquake/tsunami/tornado/stray comet falling out of the sky.

Exercise du jour: Um... I might cut this a bit short. I don't want to show up at the interview hot and sweaty, so I might only get in a couple hours of exercise in in the afternoon and evening. (Yes, I did say "only a couple hours of exercise" and yes, I know how that sounds.)
Done. 2 hours of light walking and DVDs to work the arms & core muscles. Might have enjoyed it if I weren't so tired. Been tired all day. The interview was quite pleasant, and there was a complete absence of Unlikely Occurrences to delay me.

Random thoughts, not to be confused with whining

2011-09-13T07:43:00.000-07:00

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Quote du jour: Keep on going, and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something sitting down.
- Charles F. Kettering

Site du jour: I take back every sneer I ever sneered at eHow. If this works, I'll be a happy (or at least alimony-happy) woman: How to marry a millionaire.

Day 13 of the 30-day push. Not feeling enthused about this month's goal of 3 hours daily exercise. I don't think it's the exercise itself that's causing this feeling; I think it's the fact that it's been too damn hot to sleep at night. Miss enough sleep and nothing looks good to me.

Maybe I should put Sleep on my To Do list. Have another interview tomorrow. Need to look alert, or something approximating alert.

Argh.

Exercise du jour:
Morning - 1 hour split between walking & elliptical. Gotta get that blood flowing somehow.
Done. The elliptical is better than coffee for kicking me into gear.

Noon - 1 hour elliptical. Got a new (to me) DVD that I'd like to watch. Pretty much the only time I watch TV/Videos now is when I'm on the elliptical.
Done. Not a quick & peppy pace, but done. This lack of sleep is kicking me back out of gear again.

Night - 1 hour gardening. I suppose it's a good thing that my weed-rich yard affords me so many opportunities for exercise. I suppose.
Well, sorta kinda done. I cheated and ellipticalled for half an hour. It's mindless, I can listen to music and watch TV (yes, simultaneously) and time goes by faster. I still have to find time for another half hour of exercise, but I'm going to take a break to study for my interview tomorrow too.
Update du 8:42 pm: finished. 3 hours, all elliptical. Hey, I go with what works. Wish me luck tomorrow!

Confidence (or, How I Learned to Love Aplomb)

2011-09-12T10:40:00.000-07:00

Torture device or feeding utensil? You decide.

Quote du jour: A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their graves obscure men whose timidity prevented them from making a first effort.
- Sydney Smith

As part of the Learn To Sell Myself^TM campaign, I've decided I need to work on being less introverted. (Less introverted in "real" life, as opposed to the fool who's always blabbing on her blog about her most recent exercise obsession.) In real life, I don't talk so much. A few years after high school, one of the guys who'd been on the staff of the high school yearbook told me that the only reason I didn't win "Shyest" in my senior year was that more people knew the other girl. Background, that's always been my strategy. Not so much a wallflower as wallpaper.

Turns out that approach isn't the best one to adopt when job hunting. Who knew?

So I decided to Do Something About it. I am gulp going to go down and investigate a Toastmasters club. Given my past experience with clubs (e.g. Weight Watchers), this might be a ~~horrible~~ less-than-useful thing to do. On the other hand, it might not. Only one way to find out.

Exercise du jour: I'm still feeling tired & fed up & not in the mood to exercise, but I've decided to ignore that. Well, half-ignore -- I'm still going to exercise 3 hours today, but my definition of exercise will include stretching, gentle walking, maybe even gardening if the wasps are amenable.

The schedule will probably go something like this:

Morning -- walking
Done. Got the muscles warmed up, even if it wasn't a heart-pumping knock-down drag-out workout.

Noon -- exercise DVD
Done. 90 minutes of stretching and belly dancing. I kept the curtains drawn, didn't want to frighten the neighbors.

Night -- gardening
Done.

Toaster courtesy of imago.

A sweet sufferin' succotash of a (3 hour) sauna

2011-09-11T09:45:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: Peace and friendship with all mankind is our wisest policy, and I wish we may be permitted to pursue it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Tired.
Bored with exercise.
Bored with blogging about exercise.
Really tired with not being able to sleep through the night because it's so hot, which is probably why I'm so fed up with everything else. Not up to doing a proper post with an appropriate picture.

Morning - 1 hour elliptical
Noon - another hour elliptical
Night - yet a third friggin' hour on the elliptical

Done, done, done. On the plus side, since it's 89 degrees in my bedroom, where the elliptical resides, I also got some good sauna time in as well.

A whole day of nothing but exercise!

2011-09-10T13:35:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
- Ambrose Bierce

I am now on my 10th day of my 30 day push of 3 hours of exercise a day. For those of you out there who are, like me, computationally impaired, the numbers work out something like this:

So far -- not counting today -- I've done 25 hours of exercise this month. That means (I realize that some of you are, like me, English majors) that over one full day, more than 24 hours, has been spent exercising in this month so far. Is that wild, or what?

Okay, maybe you smart-alec Math majors are out there right now yawning, but that made me think. It seems incredible that I have devoted 1 full day of the past 10 to 100% exercising. Even if some parts of the exercise was going-through-the-motions, other parts were not. And I can never tell if the body (especially Damn Knee) is going to feel like limbering up and working out until I have, in fact, been working out for at least 10 minutes. So it's worth exercising at least 15 minutes just to find out what shape (not mood, never mood) my body is in.

Exercise du jour:
Morning - 1 hour elliptical
Done!

Noon - 1/2 hour elliptical, 1/2 hour gardening... under the blazing hot sun... whimper...

Night - 1/2 hour gardening, 1/2 hour DVD. That's the plan.
Done. Not according to plan, however. It's too friggin' @#!%!%!@#!%% hot outside. Let the weeds fight the wasps for control of the yard. I stayed inside and did T'ai Chi and a Core Rhythms DVD.

In a rut or in the groove?

2011-09-09T08:02:00.000-07:00

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Quote du jour: People are crying up the rich and variegated plumage of the peacock, and he is himself blushing at the sight of his ugly feet.
- Sa'Di

Funny du jour: Evening classes for men, sponsored by WICOE (Women In Charge Of Everything) from the blog DD's Diary.

Exercise du jour: Yeah, yeah, the usual.

Morning - 1 hour elliptical
Done!

Noon - 1 hour raking, weeding
Done! Very hot outside, so I had to break it up a bit. But still, done :)

Night - 1 hour core strengthening
Done. Well, to be technical, I did another hour on the elliptical. That way, I could watch television, which distracts me from the fact that I am doing yet another @#% hour of exercise.

I know, I know. I'm in a rut. The thing is, if I can make exercising so intrinsic a habit that I'll do it automatically, then I'll be in a good rut.

It was a 2 out of 3 day

2011-09-08T20:56:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
- Jack London

The good part about having a goal to do 3 hours of exercise a day for 30 days is this: when you get hit with a nasty headache and spend most of the day lying down in a dark (and hot and stuffy) room, doing only (sic) 2 hours of exercise seems like you're getting off easy. Am I crazy? No, don't answer that. No, really. I think I already know the answer.

Exercise du jour: 1 hour elliptical, 1 hour gentle walking/stretching.

Exercise early, exercise often

2011-09-07T07:16:00.000-07:00

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Quote du jour: With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable.
- Thomas Foxwell Buxton

Okay, finished week 1 of the 30 day push. No body parts fell off.

It takes a lot of discipline to do three hours of exercise a day. (Yeah, brilliant thought, Merry. Any more gems to share?) Specifically, it takes the discipline to exercise early and exercise often.

I am good at getting things done by the end of the day, but that doesn't work with this challenge. I have to get up and exercise first thing in the ... shudder morning. It's too early for that kind of thing, but there's no way I will be able to wait to the last minute and then do three hours on the elliptical. Posting the exercise up here does seem to be helping to make me follow through. Knowing that there are ~~thousands~~ some people who might check the blog to make sure I get it done does encourage me.

Exercise du jour:
Morning -- call me traditional, but it works. Going for that hour on the elliptical before it gets too hot.
Done!

Noon -- walking, preferably somewhere reallllllllly shady. I probably could get a workout trying to find parts in Home Depot to fix my air conditioner.

Done. Eventually. I mean, we're talking 20 minutes elliptical, 20 minutes walking, then 40 minutes elliptical, hey wait a minute aren't we into the evening exercise? Oh, shut up, conscience. There were the requisite number of minutes spent walking, even if they were accompanied by stress and angst. Don't ask me about the completely simple and ordinary small part for the air conditioner that I couldn't get for love or money or begging... unless I wanted to wait for three weeks' shipping time.

Night -- stretching, core-strengthening exercises.

Done. Finally. Eventually. Not according to the script, but done. We're talking 20 minutes walking, 20 minutes ellipticalling, more minutes walking, more ellipticalling. I have no idea how I'm supposed to figure this out on my internal calorie counter sheet, but I can vouch for the fact that the body was moved for the requisite 180 minutes du jour.

Maybe I should've gotten that Ph.D after all...

2011-09-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Study du jour: Don't Get Too Excited About Job-Creation Plans.

The good news: For workers over 25 years old with a bachelor's degree or higher, the unemployment rate stands at 4.3% down from 5.0% a year ago.
The bad news: For those over 25 without a high school diploma, unemployment stands at a staggering 14.3%, up from 13.3% in August 2010.
Moral: Get that degree.

Or not? This guy has a different take on it:

...if we take the average earnings of a high school graduate and college graduate, account for cost of college and the opportunity cost of going to college (time not spent earning money) and assume a 5% savings rate for each, the college grad has a net worth of $400,000 when he retires. The high school grad: $1.3 million. Revenge of the jocks.
- Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

Or, you can compromise -- you don't actually need a degree if you can merely convince people that you have one instead of going out there and doing your homework. One woman wrote a memoir, Phony! Or, how I faked my way through life, about how she built a successful career by lying about having a college degree. Apparently, she worked her way up to a six-figure salary with several people working under her. Her main skill seemed to be picking the right people to do the work that she herself didn't have a clue how to do. That, and the fact that she mastered the art of confident lying.

I'm not sure how much credence you can give to this story-teller. I mean, she admits first off that she's a liar, and a good one. And then you're supposed to believe this memoir?

Oh wait. This is an exercise blog. I suppose that means I should get back to actually doing some of it. I was going to go bicycling, but it's going to be too hot for that today. Luckily, all the trees have left me with lots and lots of raking that I can do in the shade.

Exercise du jour:
Morning -- 1 hour elliptical
Done. Well, by 'done' I mean I turned the resistance down to nothing and went through the motions in super slo-mo. I pretended to work out for an hour. I'm going to pretend that counts.

Noon -- 1 hour gardening
Done. Gardening is riskier than I'd thought. Simply because I destroyed his web while I was raking the lawn, a spider climbed up the inside of my trouser leg and bit me on the ... well, let's just say I'm sitting a bit funny right now. The things I do in pursuit of fitness...

Evening -- gentle walking, ellipticalling
Done. Decided not to rake the part of the lawn that was occupied by a wasp's nest. The elliptical doesn't sting, at least.

That's what Knee said

2011-09-05T06:52:00.000-07:00

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Quote du jour: I'm fine, and my hips are fine. My false knee is fine. My false hips are fine. Everything's cooking.
- Liza Minnelli

Recap: I keep bitching about Damn Knee. If you missed the saga, here's the 10-second recap:

Two months ago, a vicious garden hose leapt up and caught my right ankle, causing me to land with all my considerable weight on my left knee and left hand.

My left elbow (Damn Elbow) was so swollen I couldn't bend it more than 90 degrees for a week.

Damn Knee was swollen, and a lot of pretty colors, but I could walk on it, so I didn't worry.

Until a month went by, and I still couldn't walk without pain, or kneel down without agony, or...

Anyway, the doctor said things like "Bone bruise" and "patience" and "exercise anyway."

So I did, in a limited fashion, for another month.

Which brings us up to now.

What's really weird is that it is much, much easier to spend an hour on the elliptical working up a sweat than it is to spend ten minutes doing yoga. Downward facing dog? I last maybe 90 seconds. I can't fully straighten Damn Elbow, and it can't take the weight. Child's pose? Damn Knee throws a tantrum.

A saner woman would say "screw yoga" and stick to the elliptical, but I want to stretch myself in both senses of the word. So I'm compromising by aiming for 10-minute yoga sessions and lots of pilates or belly dancing DVDs mixed in with the ellipticalling.

Exercise du jour:
Morning - 1 hour elliptical

Noon - 1 hour core-strengthening drills
Done... well, if you call 1/2 hour elliptical and 1/2 hour raking exercise.

Night - 1/2 hour elliptical, 1/2 hour mixture of what yoga poses I can manage and pilates.
Done. Except for the yoga and pilates part. 1 hour elliptical. However, I reduced the resistance to make it much less of a workout.

There's always a flaw, no matter how cunning the plan

2011-09-04T10:30:00.000-07:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

Quote du jour: I've got a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel.
- Blackadder

There's always a catch. The trouble with doing a 30-day push of exercise is that to make myself actually get out there and do the exercise, I have to blog about it. Even if I don't have anything to say. This makes me start to write in fragmented sentences. Which is annoying.

Exercise du jour:
Morning - 1 hour elliptical.
Done!

Noon - ? Mystery exercise. I'll see how I feel and post up the star when I've done it, whatever 'it' is.
Done. 1 hour core-strengthening drills.

Evening - ? Ditto. So long as I move for an hour, I'll count it as exercise.
1/2 raking the lawn, 1/2 ellipticalling. I'm glad that I don't have to move any more tonight. I've had enough for a while.

TDS syndrome

2011-09-03T10:16:00.000-07:00

see more Monday Through Friday

Quote du jour: Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something.
- Thomas Edison

Okay, yesterday started out great, finished up terrible. I suppose it's one of the benefits from suffering from Too Damn Stubborn syndrome, but I don't care. Day 3 of the 12.5% solution. New day, new chance to make the goal. Still not feeling great, but I am feeling a lot better. I can do this.

Morning: 1 hour elliptical
Done!

Noon: 1 hour DVD
Done!

Evening: 1 hour ~~yoga~~ elliptical
Pardon me while I indulge in a moment of smugness here. Damn, I'm good.

Day 2 of the 12-1/2% solution

2011-09-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

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Quote du jour: I quit being afraid when my first venture failed and the sky didn't fall down.
- Allen H. Neuharth

Okay, I survived Day 1 of the 12-1/2% solution. No body parts fell off.

I'm thinking today I should stick to the elliptical and try some yoga. Low impact stuff, in other words. The hour of cycling was a bit much for Damn Knee.

It's kinda sad to be scheduling my life around the whims and demands of one particular joint in my body. I'm glad the rest of me isn't so fussy. (Yes, I know that's unfair. It's healing as fast as it can.)

Hero du jour: Man trains to do an 80-mile bike ride in 8 hours... for his 80th birthday. I especially love the part where he mentions that the little voices in his head stopped helping and started to hinder him, so he had to learn to ignore them.

Site du jour: Thanks to Lou, I found a problem-solving flowchart.

Exercise du jour: Again, I'm going to break down the exercise so I don't break down the knee.

Morning: 1 hour elliptical
Done!

Noon: 1 hour exercise DVD or more elliptical, depending on what the knee thinks
update: Actually, the knee thought slow gentle walking would be better. It's getting a bit huffy.
Semi-done. Did 1/2 hour.

Night: 1 hour stretching, yoga
Fail. Picked the wrong time to get ill

The Twelve and a Half Percent Solution

2011-09-01T08:47:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know that so it goes on flying anyway.

Something about a month filled with exactly 30 days makes me think in terms of challenges.

For instance, the internal dialogue yesterday went something like this:

Inner Self: Hmmn... did another hour on the elliptical today. Maybe I should stretch myself a bit more on the exercise front.

Damn Knee: Excuse me? What do you mean "a bit more"? Remember me?

Inner Self: Maybe I could do two hours on the elliptical. Or why stop there? Three hours sounds even better.

Damn Knee: The hell you say.

Inner Self: With ice and ibuprofen, it wouldn't be so bad.

Damn Knee: What do you mean by "not so bad", Kemosabe?

Um... to be truthful, the dialogue went on for a lot longer, with a bit more vituperation on the part of the knee joint, but in the end we ~~argued~~ negotiated a trial period of exercising three hours a day, in three separate segments.

Morning: 1 hour elliptical, or 1/2 hour elliptical and 1/2 hour yoga.
Noon: 1 hour running/walking (mostly walking) or 1 hour cycling.
Evening: 1 hour exercise DVD or weightlifting.

I don't actually know what the limits are with Damn Knee, so I'm trying to throw in some flexibility on the options. I'd like to alternate run/walk and cycling, but if the knee complains I'll switch to more core muscle exercises instead. The point is that for the next 30 days I want to move the body three hours a day.

If you figure that's there are 720 hours in September, and I'm only planning to exercise 90 of them (12.5%), then it doesn't sound too extreme. And I'm betting that it will get things moving. I've been laid up pampering Damn Knee for almost two full months, without stopping eating. It's time for one of those total body makeover months.

Exercise du jour:
1 hour on the elliptical
Done!

1 hour cycling
Done!

1 hour DVDing
Update du 10:20 pm: don't give up on me yet. Yes, I had to spend an hour or so on the phone with my mater explaining that MS Word ~~masquerades as a Word Processing application but is in reality a software application designed to increase the sales of Prozac and Tequila~~ is a non-intuitive piece of software.

Did 20 minutes, still aiming to finish that last hour. I want that star.
Update du 11:17 pm: okay, so we're not talking quality time here, right? I mean, the main thing is that the exercise was done. No matter how non-pretty, or the fact that I ended up doing a slo-mo version of the elliptical for 40 minutes. It was done. I gets my gold star.
Done!

The Kung-Fu/Jesus approach to a job search

2011-08-30T08:12:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: Most self-made men worship their creator.

One way to tell when a man thinks he's God is if he speaks to you in parables.

The job search consultant guy is trying to be helpful, I know. And he's got a doctorate in Psychology, so I'd expect him to try to respond to questions by starting with the psyche of the questioner. The disconnect is that I expect straight answers to my specific questions, while his responses are most often in the form of stories.

I suppose I should be grateful that he's not calling me "grasshopper" and telling me to go chop planks with the edge of my hand.

Exercise du jour: I want to do a whole hour of ellipticalling. No martial arts.
Done. Now off to set up an interview between Damn Knee and Mr. Icepack

And now for something moderately different

2011-08-29T05:59:00.000-07:00

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Quote du jour: The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.
- Sonya Friedman

Yesterday, I managed 50 minutes on the elliptical without any complaint from Damn Knee. Today, I want to try something different. I want to see if I can jog, even just a little. Slow jogging, slogging, for a minute or so at a time with intervals of brisk walking in between. Worth a try. If it turns out to be too much for Damn Knee, then I'll go back to the elliptical for a while longer. Just so long as I get out there and move. Besides, it provides me with an excuse to ignore the housework. That's always a plus.

I figure posting this up here is the one way to guarantee that I'll actually get out there and do it. Otherwise, inertia will claim me for her own.

Done! About 15 minutes walking with some slow jogging. Plus, 20 minutes on the elliptical to warm up.

And while I'm lying on the ground being kicked, maybe you could take care of my wallet?

2011-08-28T17:17:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: You're never as good as everyone tells you when you win, and you're never as bad as they say when you lose.
- Lou Holtz and John Heisler, The Fighting Spirit

So I submitted a résumé to a job site, as I have done many and more times before. This time, I get an email a few hours later. Not from someone who wants to hire me. This email is from someone on the job site who has been "assigned to review my résumé to see if it comes up to their standards."

Sadly, it does not. While it is clear that I have loads of experience in technical writing and editing, my résumé "does not have the sparkle and pizazz that one would look for in someone of my experience."

On the plus side, for a mere $350 they would be delighted to rewrite my résumé and make it stand out so that I would surely get hired by anyone with a pulse or a brain.

To me, this is like kicking someone when they're down, and then offering to take their money from them so that no one else will want to kick them. Purely as a kindness. Gosh.

Exercise du jour: 50 minutes on the elliptical
Done! And without any complaint from Damn Knee.

In search of Serenity

2011-08-26T09:59:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: Life isn't boring, people are small and let life escape them.
- Thomas Wolfe, Look Homeward, Angel

Something about a job interview gives me the urge to get the hell out of Dodge. I'm going to be good and do the job hunt/exercise stuff this morning. This afternoon, I'm heading off somewhere shady to get out of the heat.

Is it sad that I need to schedule in time to relax, or am I being active and proactive and all that kind of stuff?

Exercise du jour: 30 minutes on the elliptical before it gets too hot.
Done!

Good Interviewer, Bad Interviewer

2011-08-25T18:34:00.001-07:00

I realize that job interviews are a mixed bag; people are a mixed-up species. Even so, some established conventions of behavior are generally observed.

For example, in an interview one does not usually see the interviewer:
a) sigh deeply
b) clear their throat meaningfully
c) shift from side to side impatiently

Granted, all of this behavior occurred when her co-interviewer was talking, and he was talking most of the time. Equally, it could also be read as her impatience with this interview taking so long, if she'd already decided to write me off early on. Since I don't know the woman, I have no way of knowing.

The male interviewer, on the other hand, was really easy to talk to. I found him nice, intelligent, relaxed and with a sense of humor. Him, I could work for.

Honestly, looking back it was like a case of good cop, bad cop.

Exercise du jour: I managed a whole 10 minutes on the elliptical before it became too damn hot and sticky to work out. This weather has got to go. I took two baths today before the danged interview. I was ready to throw myself at the interviewers' feet and offer to work for air conditioning.

Pictures from Glen or Glenda courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Nothing like a fine whine

2011-08-24T17:15:00.000-07:00

Depressing study du jour: Both getting married and getting divorced cause weight gain. You're doomed either way.

The heck with depressing studies. I'm too tired to care right now. Not really in the mood for much of anything. Maybe if I start off blogging, I'll get motivated to do useful work around the house. (Well, it's possible.)

The original plan was to take Friday off, but I ended up having to send work samples to one recruiter and wait for another recruiter to schedule another interview and on top of that I had to go out to lunch with a former co-worker.

Tangent: Why does the above paragraph sound so whiny? They weren't bad things, just not part of my original plan of having a close encounter with my hammock under a nice shady tree.

I knew that if I stayed at home Monday, I would spend the time brooding over the impending interview and the potential maybe interview from the company who wanted to review my work. So I figured the best thing to do was take Skye's advice and head for the ocean.

By the way, the Pacific ocean is nice and cool. Well, freezing would actually be a better word. Even when the air is hot, the ocean is not. Whenever visitors come from afar, they always say something like "It's July! I'll be sure to bring my swimsuit!" I do warn them that we import our ocean fresh from Alaska, but they always seem want to try anyway. Rarely do they try twice.

Ms. Skye, being a native, didn't expect me to bring a swimsuit. She was kind enough to show me the sights of her corner of the coast. I always see coastal towns as places for tourists; it was nice to see the livable side of town.

Walking a mile or so in deep sand is really good exercise. My calf muscles were stiff the next day, and Damn Knee was swollen, but it was a good workout. Then I went home and prepared for the upcoming interview by going shopping. My last interview outfit didn't look so good once I got it home (I presume it shrunk on the drive home?), and I couldn't face the thought of another interview in that thick wool coat, so really it was my duty to stimulate the economy a bit further.

Okay, I typed all that out and I still don't have any energy. I suspect my cutting back on the coffee is starting to affect my energy level. Or I need to get my thyroid tweaked. Or I need air conditioning, so I can get my house to cool down at night so I can sleep.

Geez, I thought I sounded whiny before. Clearly I should stop before I begin moaning about how unfair life is.

Exercise du jour: I'm going to crank out 15 minutes on the elliptical. Even a woman with no energy at all should be able to manage that.
Done! Dang, but it's hot. Just 'cause we sent them an earthquake or two, the other side of the country feels impelled to send us their heat & humidity. They're too kind. Really. No, I meant really.

I'm taking the day off. 'Cause we unemployed people can do that sort of thing.

2011-08-19T07:35:00.000-07:00

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Quote du jour: God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily.

Site du jour: In case your day is not going as well as it should, this link should make it okay.

I'm taking the day off. No job hunting. No required exercise. I ain't gonna do nuthin' unless I really, really want to. Maybe a little walking. But it's optional.

There's something unutterably freeing about this notion. Just this once. Just this Friday. No expectations.

Have a great weekend!

Survived the interview

2011-08-18T21:17:00.000-07:00

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Quote du jour: Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people.
- André Dubus

Survived the interview. I think I done good. I did not wear fishnet stockings and high heels, but I did dress up in a very formal thick wool tweed jacket that looks very professional and is a pretty blue-ish color. Did I mention the part about it being thick wool? In August? Yeah, I suffered. But I think the interview went well, so it was in a good cause.

I'd love to know why I had the panic attack after the interview rather than before or during, like a normal person, but the outcome was Panic Attack: 1 Exercise 0.

Tomorrow. Another day. That's my story.

High heels, fishnet stockings & resume

2011-08-17T07:41:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
-Anaïs Nin

Site du jour: An article on what to do if you don't have a job, or at least don't have the job that you want. I thought this article was the typically chipper/blithely depressing type of article: "Can't find a job? Well then, do something you love instead!" But actually, upon reading it, the author made a few good points.

Got a job interview tomorrow, so I thought I'd spend today productively, i.e. going into a tizzy, dithering, blathering, panicking, and rushing around trying to make myself look good. (The first four activities aren't going to make me look good, but I like to get them out of the way before the actual interview if possible. Doesn't add confidence if the interviewer watches you dither.)

In addition, I want to put together the interview outfit and see if I can make myself look like a respectable, confident, ~~hard-hitting go-getter~~ employable woman. If I want to sell myself, I suppose that means I should try wearing high heels and fishnet stockings.

Exercise du jour: I'm getting really tired of typing in "Elliptical" in here. At the same time, I don't want to try stressing the knee out and limping into the interview tomorrow. I think I'll try 30 minutes on the elliptical and add a couple miles of walking. See how Damn Knee feels about that. Fail. Too much to do! Maybe I should make the To Do list a bit shorter in the future.

Ever feel overqualified?

2011-08-16T12:01:00.000-07:00

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Quote du jour: Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him.
- Aldous Huxley

Site du jour: Save the Words. Adopt a word today -- take it out, give it a run. The experience will not be vappous.

The job hunt continues.

Spoke to a recruiter yesterday, another one this morning. I'm definitely getting my name out there. This last recruiter was a bit disconcerting to talk to. Every time I made a comment, she would laugh uproariously, as if it were the funniest thing in the world. I don't think I'm that funny.

Well, not every single thing I said. I exaggerate slightly. She didn't laugh when I mentioned salary. Just mentioned that it was out of the range for all the positions she had available. She did ask if I wanted to apply for a job that was a two-hour drive away from my house. Was I supposed to laugh? I'm not sure.

Exercise du jour: Going for 30 minutes on the elliptical. This time, before Midnight.
Done! And with almost three hours to spare. Proactive, that's me. Sorta.

"Sell" myself? My mother warned me about that...

2011-08-15T08:09:00.000-07:00

Hey, everybody! Look at me!

Quote du jour: Welcome to Sales! If you haven't been in Sales before, you are now.
- job seminar

Apparently, the "in" thing in Today's Job Search^TM is self-marketing. It's counter-intuitive, to put it mildly. Basically, it's taking the information from my résumé, reformatting it, then showing this to people who are not in a position to hire me, and asking them for their advice. It's supposed to increase my networking ability. What I'm thinking is that if I showed this to some former co-workers, people who are emphatically not up to the latest in Job Hunt Techniques^TM, they're going to feel like they're being put on the spot, that somehow I'm expecting them to help find me a job.

I'm sure it's a good idea to put together a marketing plan to showcase my skills, but frankly I'm not sure it would be a good idea to try to sell myself with it. I think it would be most helpful just for organizing my strengths in my own mind. That way, I would have the information readily available in case I were asked about it in a job interview, which is the place where I'd really be trying to sell myself. (Sorry, Mom.)

Yes, I know I can't just sit by the phone and wait for someone to lift their damned magic wand and flourish the ideal job into existence.

It would be nice, though...

What's that? Hugh needs a shoulder-warmer? Move aside, Nicole!

Exercise du jour: 30 minutes on the elliptical. It's not romantic, but it seems to be about my limit as far as Damn Knee is concerned.
Done! With only 20 minutes left in the day. Why is it, when I had 24 hours to get this exercise in, I waited until the 24th to get it done?

Peacock courtesy of Hypergenesb.
Hugh and what's-her-name courtesy of Gandalf (and you thought he was busy making movies).

For you, more Hugh

2011-08-12T12:57:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour:Luck is preparation meeting opportunity. - Oprah Winfrey

Another morning spent in seminars. Now I get to spend the afternoon outdoors. It's too beautiful to stay indoors. For all you office workers, I'll leave Hugh up here for you to look at.

Exercise du jour30 minutes gentle bicycling. See how Damn Knee feels about that.

Photo courtesy of CoolGuyz.

Shakespeare would never have made it as a hiring manager

2011-08-11T14:59:00.002-07:00

Quote du jour:

Let me have men about me that are fat;
Sleek-headed men, and such as sleep o' nights.
Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look;
He thinks too much: such men are dangerous.
- Shakespeare, Julius Ceasar Act 1 scene ii

You have to look good in a job interview. The lean and hungry look is in. It's sleek, it's chic, it's ... not my style.

Went shopping for an interview outfit yesterday. Was thinking they really should post those suicide hotline numbers in dressing rooms. Maybe I should spend the next week concentrating on the three Cs: carrots, celery, and ~~cabernet~~ cabbage.

I’ll be glad when my knee is strong enough to do serious exercise.

Exercise du jour: 30 minutes on the elliptical. I'm getting there, damn it.
Done! Plus 10 minutes stretching Damn Knee afterward.

Wow... this company could probably tell some tales...

2011-08-10T00:08:00.000-07:00

All virtues are less formidable to us once the man is aware that he has them, but this is specially true of humility. Catch him at the moment when he is really poor in spirit and smuggle into his mind the gratifying reflection, "By jove! I'm being humble", and almost immediately pride - pride at his own humility - will appear. If he awakes to the danger and tries to smother this new form of pride, make him proud of his attempt - and so on, through as many stages as you please.

But don't try this too long, for fear you awake his sense of humour and proportion, in which case he will merely laugh at you and go to bed.
- C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

Applied for a job online. After I submitted my résumé, I wound up in a site where I had to answer page after page of questions about myself. At the start of the questionnaire, I was warned solemnly that I had to be careful to answer every question honestly, as they "were able to tell if someone was being untruthful." After I'd answered a few questions, I started to notice a trend. See if you can spot it:

Page 1 - Do I use illegal drugs (for example: meth, crystal, ecstasy, heroin, morphine, crack, etc.) other than marijuana [all the time, often, sometimes, never]?

Page 2 - Do I use meth [all the time, often, sometimes, never]?

Page 3 - Do I use amphetamines [all the time, often, sometimes, never]?

Page 4 - Do I use cocaine [all the time, often, sometimes, never]?

Page 5 - Do I show up at work after using illegal drugs [all the time, often, sometimes, never]?

I mean it went on and on like this. If they'd just asked once, I would have thought nothing of it. But they went on at such length that it became first insulting then absurdly funny. I learned a lot of new slang words for meth (crank, speed, crystal-meth, ice, chalk, glass). After a while, the trend of the questions changed.

Page 6 - Do I think that people who are being disrespectful to me deserve a punch [all the time, often, sometimes, never]?

Page 7 - How frequently do I punch people at work [all the time, often, sometimes, never]?

Um... y'know... I don't think I want to work at this company after all. Never mind, guys. Thanks all the same.

Exercise du jour: 20 minutes with Michael Rhoda-Bhote. See how well Damn Knee likes that instead of the elliptical. Fail. Turns out that getting onto the rower involves a certain degree of knee bendiness. Who knew.

Even if you don't see invisibility, that's no reason to suppose it isn't there

2011-08-09T09:48:00.000-07:00

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Quote du jour: Be yourself, everybody else is already taken.
- Oscar Wilde

I'm breaking the elliptical exercising up into 10 minute intervals. It's not going to give me as much of a cardio workout, but it will help build up the strength again.

I've been resting my knee for a month, I have to build up the muscles before they become invisible. Also, I'm going to try an exercise DVD, something involving the core.

Exercise du jour: 30 minutes ellipticalling, 30 minutes of grabbing the nearest exercise DVD and doing whatever it tells me to do (so long as the instructions don't involve doing much with my left knee).

I don't know if this is a semi-win or a semi-fail. I did do the 3 sets of 10 minutes on the elliptical, with stretching, ice, and drugs afterwards. But I didn't go anywhere near an exercise DVD. I got caught up in submitting one résumé after another to different websites. Trust me when I say that there are some damn strange employment websites out there.

I AM smiling

2011-08-08T12:27:00.000-07:00

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Cranky? Why the heck should I be cranky?

Just got off the phone with a recruiter who wanted me to take a position... pretty good fit. Except for the fact that he wanted me to take a 40% pay cut for a job where I'd have to pay for my own benefits. That makes me cranky.

Damn knee is making me cranky as well. All I did was try to kneel down for a minute on a hard surface, and it hurt for two days. My body wants me to take a 60% reduction in exercise, with no benefits.

Argh.

Exercise du jour: Working out on the elliptical.
Done! Did 40 minutes on the elliptical. Thank goodness for drugs (i.e. pills I took to keep the swelling down, not narcotics, dude).

All is well

2011-08-05T10:22:00.000-07:00

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All is well.
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
Really.
All is well.
Would I lie? To you?

Well, all right. I'm a bit worn out by the past week of highly intensive Being A Good Job Hunter sessions. It's work, being out there looking for work. Still, I can say I have not been bored, which is my criterion for a Good Week.

Exercise du jour: Today, I want to push the envelope, or at least the knee. Going to try 30 minutes on the elliptical.

Fail. Made the mistake of trying to kneel on the damn knee last night, and it's been complaining all day. Will try again tomorrow.

The trouble with being unemployed is the unreasonable boss

2011-08-04T20:12:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour:

"You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."
- Marcus Cole, Babylon 5

Now that my official job is stalking the wild and wary job opportunity in its lair, I notice that my manager has turned into a thoroughly unreasonable woman. Spent most of today in "job consultant"online seminars -- no, correction: spent most of this week in seminars on how to spruce up my résumé, shape up my networking, and in general find some kind of gainful employment.
In between the online seminars, I've been getting in a few sessions on the elliptical, ten or fifteen minutes at a time. In the evenings, I've been working on creating a kick-ass website that will sparkle and shine and knock the socks off anyone who cares to glance at it.
The pertinent phrase in that last sentence is "working on creating." It's not there yet. I've had to reach back for skills I haven't used in seven or eight years, plus it turns out that the tools have gone and went and changed while I wasn't using them.
It's a good thing this doesn't happen in other fields; I mean, what would a gardener do if he picked up a shovel one day and found that it had transmogrified into Shovel 2.0^® with Newer, Flashier Features that he never needed in the first place?
If I had been working at a "real" job (i.e. one that someone else paid me to do), then I would have taken lunch breaks & the occasional rest break to stretch my legs & hang around the coffee in the break room to chat with passersby. As it is, my boss feels like any break time is a Waste Of Time, What Do You Think I'm (not) Paying You For? Get To Work!!!
Yes, my new manager does think in initial capitals and use multiple exclamation points. It's sad.

Exercise du jour: I only managed 15 minutes on the elliptical. However, I am pleased to report that the knee hardly complained at all. (Probably was afraid of what the boss would say.)

Branding: it's not just for cattle anymore

2011-08-02T13:41:00.000-07:00

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Things have changed. I know this, because everyone tells me so.

One older woman (i.e. older than I am, yes it's all about me) confessed, a bit wistfully, that all she was familiar with were the days when you sent out a résumé and sat by the phone.

Even since the last time that I went a-hunting, things have changed. Nowadays, apparently, you cannot hope to get a job unless you have Twitter and LinkedIn accounts. I'm hoping that I don't actually have to go on FaceBook as well.

So far, I'm not impressed with this "job consultant" guy. Either he's too busy to respond to my emails or all my emails are going into his spam filter. I would expect someone in his position to be able to handle a minor issue like that. I am frustrated with him.

Today I have a seminar on Job Search Communications. I have a feeling the word 'branding' is going to come up.

[Courtesy of Thomas Hawk]

Exercise du jour: More ellipticalling. The doctor used unfamiliar words like "patience" and "lots of time," but he also agreed that I should be exercising. So today I'm going to go a little longer on the elliptical. And I'm going to feel grateful that I have an elliptical machine to use.

Life in Merryland

2011-08-01T15:37:00.000-07:00

My Office:

My Commute:
My co-workers:
Butterflies, squirrels, the occasional cat. Somewhere off in the distance I can hear a very persistent rooster, who seems convinced at mid-afternoon is the crack of dawn. (I can only suspect he's been reading Julie's blog.)

All I need is a paycheck, and life would be perfect.

Don't mean to sound like I'm bragging (much) but it is beautiful out. Not too hot, not too cold, but juuuuust right. This doesn't happen very often.

The job hunt continues. I polished up the resume and sent it off to a consultant; we'll see what he thinks. Tomorrow I start the 'self-help' seminars at the consultant's website. We'll see what I think.

Exercise du jour: Managed 15 minutes on the elliptical. The knee didn't start to hurt until 10 minutes in. Good thing I have such a short commute.

Job option: inept psychic?

2011-07-26T05:53:00.000-07:00

The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was no one on the other line. Once she said "God Bless you" I said, "I didn't sneeze" She looked deep into my eyes and said, "You will, eventually." And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed.
- Ellen Degeneres

Hmmn... maybe I should add psychic to my job search?

Two nights ago, I dreamed my neighbor was ripping off the side of his house to do some construction work. Yesterday, my neighbor actually did start ripping off the side of his house. He's doing some kind of insulation work on the house.

Note to subconscious: Think Lotto numbers! Dream Lotto numbers. WINNING Lotto numbers.

Site du jour: This link is to a vocabulary test. Think you know a lot of words? I thought I did, but some of these had me stumped.

To Dos for Today

More vegetables & fruit.
Some exercise. I've got a Pilates DVD; maybe I can do the parts that involve core muscles rather than arms or legs. I had to walk yesterday, so today should be a core day.
Finish the damned résumé. Yesterday, I finally wrote down a version of the one paragraph I was stuck on. Today I'm going to polish it up and then I am done. This evening I have a job search seminar to go to (sponsored by my ex-company).

Job options: pirate or zombie

2011-07-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

Go and find Jesus when your patience and strength give out and you feel alone and helpless. He is waiting for you in the chapel. Say to him, "Jesus, you know exactly what is going on. You are all I have and you know all. Come to my help." And then go and don't worry about how you are going to manage. That you have told God about it is enough. He has a good memory.
- Blessed Jeanne Jugan

[~~stolen~~ synergistically leveraged from the Happy Catholic blog.]

Okay, so I know there's good and bad in every situation.

Good: My right leg works fine. My right arm doesn't hurt. My right eye doesn't have a burst blood vessel.
Bad: I also have a left side, to which the above statements do not apply.

On the bright side, I don't have any job interviews lined up for today. Just as well. I mean, with the eye looking the way it does I could ace a job interview if they were looking for a zombie. Or I could put on an eye patch and borrow a parrot, if they were looking for a pirate.

I'm going to post my daily goals up here. It is too easy to lapse into a couch potato coma otherwise.

To Dos for Today

More vegetables & fruit. Dr. Weil suggests more vitamin C will help strengthen the blood vessels in the eye. - FAIL. Didn't plan ahead and pack veggies. Found myself in a place with no vegetables in sight, only hot dogs. Does pickle relish count as a vegetable? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Some exercise. I've got a Pilates DVD; maybe I can do the parts that involve core muscles rather than arms or legs. It's worth a try. - DONE. Well, close enough. Walked 1-1/2 miles. The knee is complaining, but it's still done.
Finish the damned résumé. I am stuck on one paragraph. It doesn't have to be perfect. It does have to be spelled correctly and have the appropriate catch words with dynamic verbs that sparkle and glitter and dazzle and... okay, I'll revise that sentence: Not Perfect Is Okay. - DONE. It's certainly not perfect, but I got words down on the page. Tomorrow, the rewrite.

Yo! Yo-yo!

2011-07-24T11:06:00.000-07:00

The city of Hillsboro has got a fixation. They want to make it into the Guinness Book of World Records. Three years ago it was trying to get the record for the largest number of people in one place all wearing Groucho Marx glasses at one time. The next year they tried to get the record for the most people in one place all playing the kazoo at once.

This year, it was yo-yos.

Each year, the city shuts down Main street and holds a Celebrate Hillsboro party, with booths and games and bands. Everyone who wanted to participate in breaking the record gathered in the plaza (after filing through a turnstile for counting purposes). City officials handed out yo-yos and gave instruction on how to use them. They also had some experts in the crowd. One guy in particular was amazing.

One of my goals is finding ~~cheap~~ free ways to get out and socialize, and this definitely qualified. They didn't make the world record, but people had a good time.

Plus, I got a free yo-yo.
You never know when that might come in handy.

Exercise du jour: I walked one whole mile. My knee was less than thrilled with me, but I did it.

My date with Hugh Jackman

2011-07-22T10:37:00.001-07:00

[This actually took place a few months ago, and I never got around to mentioning it before.]

For once, I spent Mother's Day at my mother's house. When I found out that Hugh Jackman was trying out a one-man show, I told my mother that I'd take her for her Mother's Day present.

Mother: "Hugh who?"

I explained that he was an actor, singer, and dancer. I mentioned that he was best known for a science-fiction movie where he turned into a sort-of Wolverine character... my voice trailed off as I saw her face set into that forced "that will be lovely, dear" expression. The poor woman was clearly anticipating an unpleasant afternoon.

When we got to our seats in the Curran theatre, she looked around in some surprise and whispered "There are people my age here!" I am sure she was anticipating being surrounded by teenagers and people wearing Star Trek outfits.

Hugh (yes, we’re on first-name basis... I mean, we spent the afternoon in the same room, what else?) was trying out a one-man show of his favorite songs, mostly show tunes. Oklahoma!, Carousel, stuff like that. The man can sing. The songs were mostly arranged traditionally, though he also threw in a surprisingly effective rendition of ‘Over the Rainbow’ with didgeridoo accompaniment.

In between, he talked about how he ended up where he is, and chatted with the audience. His dad was in the audience. (On opening night, Nicole Kidman showed up.) He told a story about the first time he played Carnegie Hall. His father was in New York at the time, so Hugh (first-name basis, remember?) picked him up on the way to the theater. His father showed up in black tie, and Hugh told him that it was a casually dressed event. His father refused to change. "MY son is appearing at Carnegie Hall. It is a black tie event."

Apparently, the national motto of Australia is "I'll have a go." That seems to have been the way he made the choices that led him to being on stage at the Curran on Mother's day. He didn't have any interest in performing when he was young; he was more interested in rugby. But a high school friend mentioned that the school was putting on a performance of Music Man, and it was a chance to meet girls, so "I decided to have a go." His first performance was as one of eight salesmen in The Music Man, the opening scene. He still remembered all the lines in the scene even today. To prove it, he sang all eight parts with a rapid-fire delivery, with only a snare drum for accompaniment.

Hugh seemed to thrive on the interaction with the audience. Once, during a rendition of Peggy Lee’s ‘Fever’ he commented on how hot it was and tugged at his collar. A woman in the audience yelled “Take it off” and he shot back “I will if you will.” He went down into the audience, along the front row, gyrating his pelvis to the rhythm. At one point he looked down at the man seated directly in front of him and grinned. "You're trying so hard not to look, aren't you." I'm not sure what the man said in response, but Hugh laughed.

I got the feeling he was still trying the show out, he would comment on how some jokes got a laugh one night and not the next. Very off the cuff except for the singing and dancing, which he’d clearly worked on. And he was clearly having great fun.

Back home, I heard my mother mentioning to my sister that "he was quite a good singer, actually." I think she was still feeling relieved that there were no references to Star Trek.

Photo courtesy of Surrealistic Scenes

It's a mixture of good news and bad news

2011-07-21T10:16:00.000-07:00

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Depressing Study du Jour:Female unemployment at its highest in 15 years... outlook bleak.
That study was in England. I'm not looking for a job in the UK. I keep telling myself that makes a difference.

Good: I don't have to worry about a crazy work schedule any more.
Bad: I don't have a job, but still have bills to pay.

I am surprised that they indulged in another round of layoffs when the company is already so short-staffed. It bodes ominous in terms of the quality of the output. Maybe the layoffs mean more money for the ones who are still there. A lot of people were quitting because the company hadn't given any raises in three years, and the engineers could find higher-paying jobs elsewhere.

Luckily, this now means that I know a bunch of people who are now employed in other companies. Companies that might be hiring.

I know I should feel panicked about losing the steady paycheck, and I probably will panic shortly. But right now I feel as if I've been let out of prison.

Also on the Bad side is the fact that I really can't exercise at present. A couple weeks ago I tripped and fell, landing on my hands and knees. My left arm was so swollen that I couldn't bend it more than 90 degrees for several days. The left leg didn't feel so bad at first, but as the arm has gotten better, the knee has gotten steadily worse.

Went to a doctor, who admired all my bruises (not to brag, but they were impressive). All he said was "well, if it hurts then rest it." Seems to me that it should be showing some sign of getting better by this time. I don't think the skin should still feel numb to the touch after two weeks. Going to see another doc next week. Maybe he can recommend a brace, or stretching exercises, or something.

At present, I can only exercise using my right arm and leg. Know any good one-sided workouts? I'm thinking I could get back into running, but only if I could find someone to share in a three-legged race.

In the meantime, I'm working on that Positive Thinking stuff.

The New York Times has their own take on this ... turn yourself into a start-up. Lots of advice, ending with:

Finally, you have to strengthen the muscles of resilience. “You may have seen the news that [the] online radio service Pandora went public the other week,” Hoffman said. “What’s lesser known is that in the early days [the founder] pitched his idea more than 300 times to V.C.’s with no luck.”

Goals for the week

2011-06-26T20:41:00.000-07:00

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Quote du jour: Of the blessings set before you, make your choice and be content.
- Samuel Johnson

Finally, finally, I finished the damn project.
Out of morbid curiosity, I went back and looked at what I'd blogged when I last worked on this project.

The last time, I wrote the following:

I need to change my behavior when chaos reigns around me. I tend to get resentful, which is natural but unhelpful. My work comes at the process, after a long line of other people's jobs, and if other people take longer than expected, the pressure is on me to complete the job on schedule even if that means working late hours and going short on sleep. Geez. I can't even describe it without resentment coming into the paragraph. That needs to change.

It's depressing to look back and see the cycle repeating itself time after time. Saying "that needs to change" is all very well, but what change to make? I need a plan.

Right now, of course, I need to de-stress to the point where I can make plans. The first goal is to unwind. I'm still steamed about stuff. I keep re-hashing arguments in my mind and re-living the stress -- why? Does it do any damn good? Of course not. I'm trying various ways to unwind:

Friday, I tried chocolate therapy, shopping therapy, pinot noir therapy, and early-to-bed therapy. I know I should've tried exercise therapy, but I was wound up so tightly that all I wanted to do was curl up in the fetal position and whimper, which does not lend itself to exercising.

Saturday, I tried elliptical therapy and weed-pulling therapy. Would've worked, too, if I hadn't had a couple cups of coffee. I was thinking it would give me energy to attack the weeds, but instead it just made me panicky.

Today, I figure gardening therapy is indicated. And kitchen cleaning therapy. I think cleaning therapy should do the trick. There's great benefit getting your life in order from the outside in.

Next week, I need to start figuring out how I can change the cycle.

Site du jour: Cammy, from the Tippy Toe Diet blog, has a post about how the New Improved Cammy deals with stress without derailing her balanced lifestyle

Four goals for the week:

Spend 15 minutes a day reading Your money or your life.

In the morning, before I do anything else, a minimum of 15 minutes on the elliptical, in addition to any walking, cycling, or other exercise I do that day.

Devote 15 minutes a day to attacking some cleaning project.

In the evening, spend at least 15 minutes doing yoga. That seemed to work last time.

Hate your job... there's a support group for that

2011-06-20T05:36:00.000-07:00

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The whole point of this blog was that I should document my fight with my inner slug and how I vanquished it to achieve my ultimate goal of Fitness and World Domination.* What it's turned into, this past month, is a battle between Me and the Evil Bosses At Work. And by "evil", I mean people who have different priorities than I have. (Doesn't sound as dramatic that way, but it's true. They're not evil. They are -- some of them -- not seeing the whole picture.)

I took the weekend off.

Yes, that's what I wrote. I did not work this weekend.

That makes two weekends in a row that I did not work -- after about 4 months of working every weekend. The last three weeks, I worked every night until about 10 p.m., trying to make an unreasonable deadline. Now that it's passed, and I've been publicly outed for having Held The Project Back, for some reason people have started thinking that this is a good moment to start throwing in every kitchen-sink improvement to the documentation that they can come up with -- but if that holds back making the deadline, why, that's the fault of the tech writer.

Good thing I'm not feeling cranky. Or at least not unreasonably cranky. Or at least not extremely unreasonably cranky. Something like that.

I think there comes a time, after working 12-15 hour days for several weeks, where you get cranky as all hell and start writing blog posts about how unfair life is. That doesn't really accomplish much in the way of a productive result. What I've decided to start doing is setting limits. I do not want to work more than 10 hours a day, and I do not want to work more than 2 weekends in a row. I want to do a good job, but if that means sacrificing every part of the rest of my life including sleep, then I think that the powers that be need to reconsider their project.

There. I said it.

Exercise du jour: Hell. If I get a 1-mile walk at lunch, I will call it a victory. And I will give myself a gold star. I like the idea of setting for myself a goal that I might actually reach.

Well, I managed half a mile. Still a semi-victory.

*Um... that is, domination of the world I inhabit. I tend to the belief that we all inhabit our own separate worlds, spheres that orbit the same general sun yet which hold some radically divergent life experiences. Oh crap, I'm getting metaphysical again, aren't I? Sorry. I try to refrain from that sort of thing in public.

Someday soon, I'm going to work out. Really. Honest. Would I lie? To you? Naaaaah.

2011-06-14T22:34:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still?
- J. Paul Getty

I think I am coming to the end of the latest series of 15-hour work days. Regularly scheduled exercising, sleeping, and blogging will re-commence shortly. Probably.

There's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Oh wait...

Photo courtesy Theophile Escargot

Forget an unlisted number, I want an unlisted life

2011-06-06T08:17:00.000-07:00

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The To Do list

The list goes ever on and on
Down the notepad where it began
Now far and long the list has grown
And I must tackle it, if I can
Crossing tasks off with weary pen,
Until they join some larger list.
Some day I'll get an unlisted life.

You'd think two whole days would be enough to get some of the things on the To Do list done. Maybe even most of the things on the list. But no. I completed one half of one task. Maybe I'll draw half a line through that task.

Word du jour: Lassitude - the attitude Lassie gets after little Timmy falls down that damned well One More Time.

The trouble is that I've been feeling completely exhausted for days. I have no energy. Wake up tired, go to sleep tired. In between, feel exhausted. It's really stupid. I mean, if I were suffering from leprosy or schistosomiasis or something exotic and important-sounding, that would be one thing. But this? Bah.

Site du jour: The One Dress Protest blog. This woman is protesting excessive consumerism by wearing the same dress for a year. At least, that's what I think she's protesting. For some people, wearing the same dress for a year would be simple enough. I imagine homeless people wear the same clothes all the time. But this woman is, or was, very fashion conscious, so it's a challenge for her to look stylish while always wearing the same outfit. I hate to think what her laundry bill is. Not sure what I think about her protest.

Exercise du jour: Cycling. Maybe not the full 20, but at least part of it. Have to drop the evil SUV off at the mechanic, so at least I'll cycle from his place to the Max. I'll see how it goes.
A mere six miles, but I figure that deserves a star. Had to pick up the car, so I biked to/from the mechanic rather than work. Still feel like I got exercised.

Rewriting Shakespeare, and other do-overs

2011-06-02T05:42:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.
– Jim Rohn

As part of my attempt to 'travel light', when I take the Max to work I carry only a small purse that holds a tiny notebook and a tiny pocket edition of Shakespeare. The whole set is about 20 volumes, which adds up to about four plays per tiny book. Sometimes the Bard is good, sometimes... not so much. I'm thinking of re-writing some of Shakespeare's plays. (He'd thank me, I'm sure.)
For example:

Instead of a measly epilogue at the end of All's Well that Ends Well, we should have a version of Whack-a-Mole. The "hero" of the play would play the part of the mole, and all the other characters would take turns hitting him. Much more satisfying ending.
The Comedy of Errors is the Elizabethan equivalent of a cheap sitcom featuring two sets of identical twins "with hilarious results." I suggest it be re-written as a one-man play. Watching one poor actor trying to portray all those identical twins without going mad would be entertaining, in a twisted kind of way.
Titus Andronicus is Shakespeare's version of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Seems to me the least Will could've done was throw in an actual chainsaw and a Texan or two.

On the exercise front, I'm planning another do-over: I want to cycle 20 miles again. This time, instead of trying to scrunch most of the mileage into the afternoon, I want to cycle the whole way into work and then back again. See how the muscles feel about that. I figure splitting the commute up into two 10-mile rides should be easier. [Famous Last Words...]

One problem I have is that my mind still thinks 20 miles is a short distance to cycle, while my muscles are saying "Excuse me? You sit on the couch or at a desk most of the day -- why did you think you could just jump back into cycling?" The muscles have a point: I didn't bother to stretch Tuesday night, since it was "such a short distance." Wednesday, my hamstrings were so tight I couldn't touch my ankles. (Usually I can almost reach my palms to the ground.) This time, I'll take it easy.

Exercise du jour: ~~20 miles cycling.~~ Okay, maybe not. It's a bad sign when you wake up exhausted. Maybe this is left-over flu or something. Today's a walking day.
Done. Two miles, but I still get me a star.

Scenes from the Max

2011-06-01T08:50:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin

Maybe it's just me, but if I saw someone wearing headphones and with their head down, their eyes fixed on a book, my first thought would not be "Oh! There's a person who wants me to sit down and talk to them!"

The young guy on the Max train, however, thought otherwise. Full of a twitchy kind of energy, he cheerfully launched into a full flood of conversation; all that was required of me was that I sit there and listen.

Mostly, it was the kind of talk that's hard to argue with. He said things like "I hate rain. It makes everything wet. I much prefer sun or snow." Um.... yeah.
Then he switched over to talking about how he hated the legal system. "I mean, I got a notice to show up to court, but there are two courthouses within a few blocks of each other. How're you supposed to know which one to go to? So they said I didn't show up. It's so unfair." Didn't the notice include the address where you were supposed to go? "And cops. I hate cops. I mean, it's good that they're there if there's an emergency or something, but basically they're just all pigs." Um... would you even notice if I started reading my book again?
Thankfully, he got a phone call and got off a few stops later. He kept protesting to the caller "Well, if you tried to see it from my shoes, you'd understand..."

***

The ride home was much quieter. No one felt the need to tell me anything at all; I sat and listened to conversations on all sides. It felt very peaceful. The two guys across from me were talking about boat races they were involved in; one guy held a paddle and was dressed in sporting clothes like he just got off the river. I didn't think much of it until the time came for the paddle-holding man to get off the train. That was when he unfolded the long white cane and began tapping his way toward the doors.

I don't know why it surprised me that a blind man was involved in boat racing, but it did. It's good to overthrow your expectations from time to time.

Exercise du jour: Walking day today. The bike ride yesterday, I'm embarrassed to report, left the muscles a bit sore. (Though not the knees! Maybe replacing the bottom bracket fixed things. I hope.)
Done! Couple miles, but better than nothing.

Clockwork Merry

2011-05-31T06:11:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner.- Collette

The plus side of keeping track of mileage on the sidebar, sad are the numbers are, is that it gives me something to aim for. I've decided my goal for May is to cycle 80 miles, i.e. I want to cycle to work and back and somehow throw in an extra mile along the way.

There. I've got a goal, posted it for all the world to see. Now everything should go like clockwork. Presuming something untoward doesn't come up.

Since I'm familiar with all the reasons why I don't always cycle to work, I've lined up a list of excuses and ways to deal with them ahead of time:

Don't wanna. Tough. You've publicly stated you're going to do this, so deal with it. There. Dealt with the worst excuse up front.

I'll be late for work. Then you'll have to stay late to catch up. Since you've been staying late anyway, you should be used to it.

I don't have anything to wear. As luck would have it, you've got an emergency outfit at work already.

I hafta read/reply to all these emails! People will be hurt! Really? Any true friend would understand that you need to get up and cycle.

Um... give me a minute. I'll think of something. Great! Think about it while pedaling.

Exercise du jour: 21 miles cycling.
Done! Finally. Got soaked to the skin this morning, so cheated and took the Max in part-way. Made up a few miles at lunch -- it was actually sunny, and I had to take off my jacket! Then back home, racing the thunder clouds. Feels good to have accomplished something.

Still here...

2011-05-26T22:15:00.000-07:00

Good: I've lost 5 pounds this week!
Bad: Thanks to the flu.
Good: But it was 5 pounds!
Bad: Excuse me? Did you miss the part about getting sick? You've done no exercise except for some measly walking, for Pete's sake.
Good: 5 Whole Pounds!!!
Bad: Sigh

I'm feeling much less dead now, so that's good.
I'm planning to take the weekend off, which is better.
Hell, I might even exercise. What more could you ask for?

Alas, I did not get taken up by the Rapture on Saturday. Well, I'd heard they didn't take Catholics, so I suppose that's no surprise. But I figured that other people might have been taken, since that means the rest get to suffer and I was stuck working (unpaid overtime) until about 8 at night. Stopped off at a convenience store on the way home to pick up some ~~yummy green vegetables~~ frozen pizza.

I saw another woman shopping there and was struck by her outfit. She was dressed all in white: white dress, hose, and shoes. Her dress was made of a very fine fabric with a bit of a sheen to it, but it was extremely plain: it covered her from the neck down to her ankles. The only decoration was some severe pleating down the front. I'm not sure if 'decoration' is the right word; the pleats were so straight and narrow that the general effect was one of severe repression. The whole look wasn't that of a nursing outfit, and she certainly didn't resemble a bride. The impression I was left with was one of those traditional Protestant baptisms. I wonder if she'd expected to spend her Saturday night somewhere else beside a convenience store in Oregon.

Site du jour: I loved this post from Coffee Helps about the 8-year-olds in Korea explaining their view of the American Evangelical's theory of End of the World to their Irish teacher during a dramatic thunderstorm.

Exercise du jour: Walking. Sigh. Not quite up to cycling again. Maybe tomorrow.

LBS: the good, the bad, and the fugly

2011-05-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

An episode in which our heroine visits her Local Bike Shop (LBS).

The first time I went there with Binchy, my Bianchi Eros Donna road bike. I was wearing my "It's definitely Rainy/Winter/Nasty weather" jacket, which admittedly does cover me like a tent. Still, I'm not used to having someone address me thusly "Hey, man!" I mean... man?? I don't think I've been able to pass for a male since I was 10.

Still, a Merry is the forgiving type, as a rule. So I went in again, to ask them what they could do for my poor Iron Horse, the hybrid/mountain bike that I use for about town. The trouble is, riding this bike is hell on my knees. It wasn't always thus: I've ridden it to work for years; I've ridden 50 miles without a problem; I rode a few Bike Pedals without a qualm. And I haven't gained a noticeable amount of weight since then. So why, now, do my knees absolutely scream when I ride the Iron Horse?

The guy-up-front frowned. Then he said, delicately, "Well, knee problems are always caused by the bike not being sized right. I was thinking... maybe something in your position had changed recently?"

Wasn't until I'd left and headed home before it clicked that he was implying that my weight was causing the knee problems. This might be a reasonable suggestion if I hadn't ahem quite clearly mentioned that it was a recent problem -- quite recent -- and I'd been riding the bike regularly.

Anyway.

Went back again, this time with the bike in question, and took it straight to the Service department. They looked at the bike more than they looked at my hips, which I liked. They said what they saw was wrong with the bike. (Again, no hips were mentioned.) And they said that the bike did not need the Full I-mean-the-whole-enchilada Tune Up, which costs approximately 200 times more than the bike itself. (Okay, that's mostly because I got the Iron Horse for free, but even so-- a few full tunes ups and you'll start wondering if it might not be simpler to just buy a new damn bike already.)

"What's wrong with it?" I asked.
"Your bottom bracket is totally shot," was the reply. (Only in a bike shop would this be a response that didn't call for a slap across the face.) "Other than that, it looks pretty good."

I got the Iron Horse back tonight. Though I only rode it a mile home, the knees seemed to feel pretty good about the experience. We'll see how they feel tomorrow, after I ride to work.

Exercise du jour: Walked a few miles, i.e. walked to and from the Max station. One of these days I'm going to take a walk at lunch rather than work through that alleged 'rest' time. (My cynical self adds: yeah, and then I'll go dance with unicorns in a magic forest before riding off into the sunset with Prince Charming.)

May 18: Huh. Cycled a few miles. I spent the whole day stressing out at work -- another co-worker quit today -- and stayed so late that by the time I finally went home I didn't want to ride. Or walk. Or do anything but curl up in a ball and whine. Or wine. Whatever. Really, I need to work on my attitude. Whoever said it was going to be all fun? Tomorrow, 2 goals: ride to/from work and take a walk at lunch. Maybe I'll look for unicorns in the nearby forest.
May 19: Well all right, maybe the walk at lunch was a bit optimistic. But I'm planning on taking the weekend off, so I need to get things done while I'm there. Still managed some to and some fro cycling. Much easier to get 'er done when it's so absolutely beautiful out. [Merry Makes a Brilliant Discovery. No Film at 11.]

Good or Bad? Tsk, it's all relative

2011-05-05T05:04:00.000-07:00

Old Word Made New: Context: a text sent by a jailbird, full of convincing untruths.

Whether something is good or bad all depends on the context. It all depends on the location or situation.

Some examples:

Oh, that's interesting!
Good: If your date says that while you're making small talk.
Bad: If your doctor says that while he's looking at your x-ray.

You've won the Lottery.
Good: The I.R.S. doesn't know where you live.
Bad: You're in a Shirley Jackson story.

Oh, honey, I've missed you!
Good: When your significant other says that to you at the airport, after a long absence.
Bad: When your significant other says that to you on the firing range, while they've still got lots of ammo.

Summary du week:
Cycled 40 miles
Walked 5.5

Good: Got some exercise.
Bad: Not as much as I wanted to.
Good: Look, be glad for what you got, okay?
Bad: Okay, okay, fine, enough already.

This week, it's a short week. Lots of relatives, few opportunities for working out. Regular exercise will re-commence next week.

May day? I'm starting to believe in spring

2011-05-01T14:07:00.000-07:00

Quote du jour: Inspiration does exist, but it must find you working. -Pablo Picasso

I suppose it might be true... spring might be ready to sprung, as it were. But I'm almost afraid to believe in the possibility.

It could all be a giant hoax.

Sure, the tulips are tuliping, or so they claim.

It could all be a dream. I might be hallucinating the camellias.

On the other hand, I could use all this profusion of bloomsion as a sign that it's time to get out there and show off my mad cycling skills.

This week, I want to cycle 100 miles. Let's see.

Exercise du jour: Cycle 20 miles.

Sunday: Done! I'll have to dig up my traditional gold star, dust it off, and post it up here. I think I'm getting faster.

Monday: Done! But much, much slower than yesterday. Why? Is it because I was carrying my lunch and work clothes and such? Maybe it's a sign I should walk tomorrow.

Tuesday: Why did walking a measly 2.5 miles end up with aching shin muscles? What the frack is up with you, body? Sooner or later, you're going to have to deal with the fact that we have to exercise!